You Will Never Be The Same After a Breast Cancer Diagnosis

A fellow cancer survivor and I were chatting and the subject turned to what it’s like after treatment has been completed. She was questioning me with regard to how long it would take for things to get back to normal again. I didn’t know what to say to her in the moment and the more I thought about it, I was almost afraid to answer. What I had learned is that after breast cancer, if you are expecting to get back to a life the way it was before your diagnosis, you are sadly mistaken.

“For all that we must deal with on this breast cancer journey, we have learned how strong we really are and have an appreciation of who we are that we would never have known under any other circumstances.”Barbara Jacoby

Breast cancer changes your life and the lives of those around you forever. Even if you have a perfect outcome and are pronounced cancer-free, most likely you will never be able to not be at least a little fearful that the cancer will return. As the years pass, it does get easier and as you have your annual checkups that show no sign of the cancer returning, the fear will ease but there is no such thing as returning to your old normal no matter what.

This is understandable. Anyone who ever faces any type of catastrophic event in their life will tell you that it affected them and changed things for them forever. Hopefully, you will be like most of the cancer survivors that I have been fortunate enough to meet in that it changed them for the better. Most have a completely different outlook on life and no longer take anything for granted. I know that when we wake up in the morning, we are grateful for being given another day of life. We have a greater appreciation for those who are in our lives and realize that we have a greater motivation to live when we measure all of the things that we would love to share with those special loved ones. We might find ourselves to be driven to be everything we ever hoped we would be, and more. And more than likely, we will chase every single dream that we have ever had.

The toughest part will be for those around us. There is no way that we can assure them that we are feeling and doing fantastically well. They are living with the fear that we will be taken away from them and there is nothing that they can do to stop it. There is a feeling of frustration that they have no control over what is happening and especially for the men in our lives that can be so difficult because they have been taught that they are the ones who are here to protect and make everything perfect for us. For the children, they are fearful because in addition to not being able to do anything, they don’t want to face growing up without that important person in their life to show them the way.

Obviously, we can’t control what the others around us think or say or do whether it be in our own homes, in our families, at work or in any other situation in which we find ourselves. But that doesn’t mean that we should try to do anything to change others’ perceptions. The best that we can do is to take care of ourselves and lead the lives that we choose that will prove to be the example by which others can do the same. Of course we are changed forever!

Of course we can’t go back to how things were before the cancer because the cancer changed everything. But then if you really think about it, are you sure that you would want to go back to the way things were? Haven’t you learned so much more about yourself and those around you for which you are grateful? I know I am. For all that we must deal with on this breast cancer journey, we have learned how strong we really are and have an appreciation of who we are that we would never have known under any other circumstances.