I Want to Support Your Breast Cancer Journey

You have just been diagnosed with breast cancer and more than likely have no idea what to do next. Not only do you have all of the medical aspects that need your immediate attention but then there are all of the various aspects of your life that are now going to be affected in ways that you could never have imagined. Everything, and I do mean everything, that you have known in your life has now been changed forever and you know that because of what you are about to face, your “normal” life has been changed forever. But, that does not mean that all is lost and that your life is over. It just means that your life has been changed and there will be many adjustments to be made as your testing and treatment is determined. And how you choose to deal with your journey is entirely yours to decide.

If you take control of your life and your journey or allow your designee to do so, you will dramatically reduce your stress and enhance your recovery and that is what is most important. Barbara Jacoby

The most important people in your life at this time will be those on your medical team. You must be comfortable with and have faith and trust in all of the primary members of that team. Should you find that you not comfortable with your primary care physician or your oncologist or your cancer surgeon or your reconstruction doctor, etc., I strongly suggest that you make a change to another professional in the same discipline. I know from my own experience that this was something that I needed to do and I will always be grateful that I had the courage to step up and do so. It made all of the difference in my medical journey.

Next is the matter of dealing with the rest of your life and those in it. It is your choice if/whether you choose to share your diagnosis with anyone else as well as the manner in which you choose to share. Of course it will be necessary to share with those in your immediate household but when and how you do so is only the beginning. For me, at the initial diagnosis, I shared with my husband and those in my Human Resources department and my immediate supervisor at work. I asked that none of them share with anyone else at that time. My personal reasons ranged from not wanting to share my personal medical info with others, not wanting to have to answer questions or deal with the emotional actions/reactions of others and making the decision that this was my journey and as such, all decisions regarding treatment would be made only with my doctors. I did not want anyone to feel guilty if they pushed for or even recommended that I do certain things. That way, if anything went wrong, they would not be in a position to blame themselves for their participation.

If you choose to share with others for any number of reasons, please know that it is your responsibility to ask for what you want or need. While those around you may offer to help you, they have no real idea of what you need so when they say, “If you need anything, let me know”, that is exactly what you must do. If you need some groceries or help with doing laundry, ask for that help. If you need to be left alone, you must not hesitate to request that. As an example, I had many who requested to visit me once they found out about my situation but the last thing I wanted to do was to “entertain” anyone. And while I appreciated their offers, I tried to explain as nicely as possible that I truly did not feel up to having company and if they were upset with my choice, that was their problem, not mine.

There are so many resources available for help and guidance and information for all aspects of your breast cancer journey but if you found, as I did, that you don’t even know what questions to ask or where to turn, you are not alone. At this point, ask your medical team for their help and guidance or ask your family and friends to do the research that you don’t feel like doing in order to find out how to handle any matter. I promise you that those who offer truly do want to help but only you can make the decision of how each person will be allowed to do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and don’t hesitate to exclude anyone that you wish from knowing what is happening. If you take control of your life and your journey or allow your designee to do so, you will dramatically reduce your stress and enhance your recovery and that is what is most important. And if anyone has a problem with what will work best for you, that is too bad but you don’t need to own their intrusion. If you create the best situation possible for yourself, your life and your recovery will definitely be enhanced.