Uncertainty After a Breast Cancer Diagnosis

When I started to write this blog, I was focused on the uncertainty about the future and his best buddy, “what if” that comes after a diagnosis of breast cancer. But, the more I thought about it and focused on this aspect of dealing with breast cancer, the more uncomfortable I became. I do acknowledge that this is a perfectly natural reaction that many, if not most, people will have but this was not the way that I responded when I received my diagnosis. I never for even one moment went down this path.

“Every single cancer patient’s experience in dealing with their diagnosis is as unique as their fingerprints. Although cancer-related distress is usually defined in terms of feelings of sadness, hopelessness, powerlessness uncertainty, guilt, etc., each person’s feelings are totally individual.”Barbara Jacoby

My only response was, okay, what do we do next in order to deal with this and never looked back. I showed up as directed for each appointment, test and treatment both after the first and second diagnosis and only one time when I was assigned to my first oncologist did I feel uncomfortable and asked for a second referral but I never thought about anything not turning out perfectly and moving on after the last treatment.

I suppose that having dealt with domestic abuse in my first marriage had a major impact on my thinking.. After all, having a loaded gun in my face on more than one occasion and being promised that if I left, I would be hunted down and killed had a major impact on my outlook on life and this was only one aspect of this abuse. However, I came to believed that if I was killed, it was preferable to living one more day of life in the way that I had lived for the previous 10 years and I was able to successfully design a way out of that life.

But now I recognize that it was through the grace of Almighty God that not only did I survive that life but that He had a greater plan for me and for my future in the work that has led me to this moment. And for this understanding I am so grateful beyond any words that I could write upon this page.

Every single cancer patient’s experience in dealing with their diagnosis is as unique as their fingerprints. Although cancer-related distress is usually defined in terms of feelings of sadness, hopelessness, powerlessness uncertainty, guilt, etc., each person’s feelings are totally individual. A patient’s feelings may affect them on the mental, physical, social and/or spiritual levels that will make dealing with their diagnosis and treatment even harder for them.

No one can tell a cancer patient or their caregiver(s) what is best for them to do in dealing with a major medical diagnosis like cancer. And if you do not have a foundation of spiritual (not religious) thinking, it is almost impossible. Therefore, I have been a strong proponent for years of adding a professional to each patient’s medical team who will be there to help find ways to deal with the distress that will result on some level for every single patient and caregiver. After all, these professionals have dealt with this issues so often in the past and have knowledge and expertise beyond what we might imagine. And I do hope that if you find yourself in this position that you will seek the help and guidance that you personally may need.