Swimsuit Model-Millionaire Husband-Domestic Violence

In Creating Happiness, Domestic Abuse News by Barbara Jacoby

Two lives, two families and scores of friends, co-workers and acquaintances will never be the same following the deaths of Jasmine Fiore and Ryan Alexander Jenkins this past week.  How sad that a 28-year old young woman and a 32-year old young man are gone forever because of domestic violence and will stand as a vivid reminder forever of what has been lost.

For every domestic abuse survivor, this will bring back memories of times and places that we always hope are long gone and long forgotten.  For every woman who has walk in shoes similar to my own, the one thing that we learned that has allowed us to survive is that the worst thing that you can do is to provoke an abuser.  And from the early stories that I have seen following the suicide of Ryan, an eye witness to their last public appearance before her death, Jasmine was provoking her husband and really making him angry.

Now, that absolutely does not excuse him or any man or woman from striking out against another person.  But, if you have any knowledge of what will trigger violence in an abuser, the last thing you want to do is to provoke him or her and then put yourself in a situation where you are alone with that abuser.  The fact is though, that based upon the very short time that these two people had spent with each other before getting married and the limited time that they have subsequently been together, there is no way that Jasmine could even begin to know the person with whom she had chosen to spend the rest of her life.

Both of these people had very promising lives and careers ahead of them.  Both seem to have all of the money and things that they wanted.  To have lost these lives at such a young age is sad beyond any words that can be expressed.  And yet the headlines that they are making today will soon be forgotten in a few days and few will learn anything from what has happened in this relationship.  That is the saddest loss.

I have interacted with a number of women at this site who want more than anything to be able to get out of the abusive lives that they are currently living.  Some have children who also need to be removed.  But the sad fact is that they don’t have the money, the contacts, the help, etc. that they need in order to make such a move.  They will wake up tomorrow to face the same fears that have haunted their lives for far too long.  They will seek to find the outside resources that are needed to help them get away only to find that these resources are in short supply and often not available at all to those who are in small communities and for those in large cities, they will find that the need far outweighs the limited resources that are being provided.

Therefore, my wish is that the loss of these two people makes a difference for all of us.  I want for every person who has become a survivor and for those who have never known the horror of this kind of life to reach out and do whatever you can to help someone, anyone, who has lived or is living with this pain.  It may be anything, from providing some kind and understanding words to helping with resources, but every little bit will make a difference.  And for those who know someone in an abusive situation, please step up and help them so that they will know that they matter and that it is possible to live a life without abuse.  Even though the majority, if not all, of us never met Jasmine and Ryan in life, let’s make their deaths be a reminder of those who are still very much in need of our help.