With the most recent news stories from the ranks of professional football where Ray Rice was captured on camera punching and knocking out his then fiancée and Andrian Peterson’s arrest for hitting his 4-year-old son with a switch that resulted in injuries that were declared as child abuse by two separate doctors, domestic abuse is back in the spotlight. The sad part is that not much has changed since the last time this topic was discussed here. Everyone wants to take sides, come up with excuses and/or justifications for such behavior and then turn and walk away from the issue as always. But, bottom line, the answer is simple. No one has the right to hit another person.
Bottom line – it is NEVER acceptable to hit another person – period. There are no excuses for hitting someone else other than in self-defense and everyone knows this regardless of what they may say
Let’s address the issue with hitting a child. Most adults who engage in such behavior will say that they were raised that way; that one or both parents or another authority figure hit them when they were children and that is how they learned to behave themselves. But, just because someone else has hit you when you were a child does not make that behavior right. It seems like the lesson learned was not how to behave but rather that it is okay to hit a child when you don’t like something that they have done and you are now perpetuating that behavior. But it wasn’t right then and it is not right now and never will be.
Perhaps as a child, you witnessed your father hit your mother or your brother hit his girlfriend or wife or other female member of the family. What you most likely learned was that it was okay to do this and therefore, you have chosen to do the same thing. After all, the man is in charge and his woman is suppose to behave in the way that he dictates. But this is the 21st century and if you haven’t realized that this thinking and behavior is just as old and outdated as the last century then it is time to realize that you need to be re-educated.
First and foremost, women and children are to be respected and protected by men, not abused. If you don’t like something that a child or woman has done, there are so many other ways in which to deal with the situation. You may say that the child or woman made you angry and that is why they were hit. Or you may say that you were provoked in any number of ways and that is why you hit them. But you know better. To hit a child or woman who you know is basically defenseless against a man is cowardly.
If you have any doubt that it is wrong to hit a child or a woman, consider what would happen if you hit a child or woman that you didn’t know just because you didn’t like something that they said or did. You would be arrested and taken to jail and would have a permanent mark on your record. If you did the same thing a second time, you would suffer a greater punishment. And in many States, if you did it a third time, you would be jailed for a very long time if not permanently. What more proof do you need to know that hitting a child or woman is not acceptable!
Bottom line – it is NEVER acceptable to hit another person – period. There are no excuses for hitting someone else other than in self-defense and everyone knows this regardless of what they may say. However, the tough part is the punishment for the aggressor since someone who is capable of hitting a child or woman will most likely do it again. A piece of paper (such as a restraining order) will never stop someone who is set on harming others. A short jail sentence and release back to the same environment where the assault occurred is absolutely ridiculous when you can be relatively sure that retribution will be sought on those who were responsible for the incarceration. So as long as this cycle continues and everyone would rather look away with the hope that it will go away, nothing will change and we will continue to read these stories forever.
If you or anyone you know is a victim of domestic abuse, you can seek help through the National Domestic Violence Hotline – 800-799-SAFE (7233) – 1.800.787.3224 (TTY).
Barbara Jacoby is an award winning blogger that has contributed her writings to multiple online publications that have touched readers worldwide.