Mother’s Day & Domestic Violence

In Creating Happiness, Domestic Abuse Posts By Barbara, Recent Posts by Barbara Jacoby

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As I thought about Mother’s Day today after having read several more stories about women who have been killed as the final outcome of domestic abuse, I can’t help but wonder how many women have been taken away from their children since last Mother’s Day.  My mother passed away a few years ago but I know how I always looked forward to doing something special for her on that day.  And I can’t begin to imagine what it is like for any child who has lost their mother to domestic violence, not only during this past year but at anytime in their lives. 

The message here on this most wonderful day for celebrating our mothers is that there is a great lack of understanding about abuse by those who have never experienced it and a great need to educate others so that they will recognize the signs of abuse and be willing to help those who are being abused.

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I also have been thinking about those children whose lives are riddled by domestic abuse in their own homes on a daily basis.  Are they able to do anything special for their moms on this day or is their best hope that nothing bad will happen to their moms?  How very sad that in a country where we so value our freedom that there are so many women and children being held hostage by domestic abuse every day of their lives.

I know many mothers who made the choice to leave their abusive relationships because of their children and not wanting to have them endure the same physical and mental abuse that they had.  Each one of them knows that it is the best thing that they could have done and may have spared all of their lives.  But there are those who stay for any number of reasons, not the least of which is the belief that they will not be able to provide for their children if they leave.

As I read the stories about women who have lost their lives in this horrible way, I find myself also reading the comments that people have posted at the end of the stories and I just can’t believe that most often there are more negative comments about the woman who has lost her life than there is about the murderer.  How can anyone justify the murder of a mother and/or her children because of custody or child support issues?  How can anyone justify the behavior of a person who can kill or hold mentally and/or physically hostage a mother and her children because they consider them to be property or that the abuser has the right to “control” their own?  How can anyone defend the death of another person and/or family because they had it coming or they provoked the abuser or they should have “gotten out” before something bad happened?

The message here on this most wonderful day for celebrating our mothers is that there is a great lack of understanding about abuse by those who have never experienced it and a great need to educate others so that they will recognize the signs of abuse and be willing to help those who are being abused.

I have decided to re-double my efforts to help by sharing the stories of those who have endured and by providing direction for those who are dealing with abuse and looking for a way out.  I hope that every other woman who is part of the leagues of domestic abuse survivors will join me in these efforts as I believe we are all in this together and if we all commit our time and effort to helping others, perhaps next year on Mother’s Day we may have helped to save the life of at least one mother for her children to be able to celebrate the day.

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