Wherever you look in the headlines this week, everyone is reporting on the audio tapes of Mel Gibson and his tirades once again. Much emphasis is being put on the racial and religious slurs and they definitely should receive a very clear reporting. However, what is being lost in the messages, at least in the numerous articles that I have read or heard on the news is the domestic abuse that his partner and mother of his child has been receiving.
For every single person who has ever been in a relationship where she (or he) has been at the receiving end of a tirade like this, all of the memories come flooding back in an instance. Gibson has exhibited so many of the abusive behaviors that I so clearly remember. Everything is the fault of his girlfriend, not him. She behaved badly so she deserved to be hit by him and it didn’t matter that she was holding their child at the time. He needs to be in control of her life and every detail of it and that includes how she dresses and appears in public. And now she is out to ruin him by releasing tapes that she secretly recorded in the hope that if anything did happen to her and she ended up losing her life at his hands, the police would have some evidence of what was occurring in their home. Darn it! I am so sorry that I was not as smart as her to record what was going on in my life when I was being threatened by my first husband that I would be killed if I didn’t do as he said while I had a loaded gun in my face.
I recognize that there are plenty of Mel’s fans who will come to his defense and want to blame her, just like he does. After all, she must only be after his money or she would just leave. For those who are thinking that way, I can assure you that there is no amount of money in the world that would hold a person in an abusive situation, especially in a case like this where the abuser is a public figure. If she was not fearful about her leaving, she could always fight for money at a distance from him. And I promise you that it is fear that has kept her there, at least to this point.
However, Gibson chooses to deal with his problems is not my concern. But, what I do care about is all of those people out there who are currently in an abusive situation. If you are one of those people, please get help. If you know of someone who is in an abusive situation, please report it and get help for them. I promise you that such circumstances will NEVER get better but will only continue to get worse. No one deserves to live in constant fear for their own lives, those of their families or friends, etc. because of the abuse being inflicted upon them by another. No one should be allowed to control another person under any circumstances. No one owns another person. Please get help or give help before you or someone else loses everything and by that I mean, their life.
If you or anyone you know is in an abusive situation, you can seek help from the National Domestic Violence Hotline .
Does this pattern of behavior sound familiar to you? COMMENTS
Barbara Jacoby is an award winning blogger that has contributed her writings to multiple online publications that have touched readers worldwide.