As I pondered the blogs from the last several weeks about domestic violence, I started to think about how we all treat one another. While certainly there are incidences where people act out against strangers, generally speaking, I am referring to how we treat those who are close to us, and more specifically, those to whom we refer to as a “friend”. While there are those who are family, co-workers, associates and
Friends are those who, if we make a mistake or do something that has hurt them, will give us a second chance and the opportunity to apologize.acquaintances, not all are friends. But, I do have friends who are in those categories as well as others who are not, including a couple of very special people that I have met online over the years but have never met in person. So in trying to qualify who is a “friend” to me, it is someone with whom I love to share my time and my life, be it in person, on the phone, by mail or email, and someone who wants to share their time and life with me.
If you are my friend, I have no expectations about our relationship. I know that we are two individuals who will never think or be the same and that is as it should be. I will never tell you how you should think or act or conduct yourself and I expect the same in return. If you ask me my opinion about something, I will tell you how I personally would handle a certain situations but I am not in a position to tell you what you should do as I have never walked a mile in your shoes. And I expect that I will not always be in agreement with the choices of my friends but I back them 100% in their choices as long as they are not doing something to purposely hurt someone else.
If you are my friend, I am there to help. If you need someone to listen, I am there. If you need help in any other way, I will do my best to assist. If you are in trouble, you can call on me and know that I am there for you. I neither ask nor want anything in return. But I do expect that if I need help, my friends will be there for me and for those that they call “friend”.
If you are my friend, there are no judgments. I would hope that my friends would never do anything to hurt me or harm me and they can expect the same from me, too. Friends are very special and treasured people who mutually love and respect one another. Friends are those who are fun to be with and who know private portions of us that most others do not. Friends are those who have our best interests at heart and are those who truly love us. And friends are those who, if we make a mistake or do something that has hurt them, will give us a second chance and the opportunity to apologize.
I must say that at one point, I dismissed someone that I had called “friend”. I had noticed that she only came around when she wanted something and in further discussions with mutual friends, I learned that she was doing the same to them within their own spheres of influence. But that certainly is the exception. I do find that I tend to trust people until such time as they do something for me to lose that trust but normally that will occur long before I am at the point where someone is actually someone I consider to be a friend.
Yes, if you are my friend, you will know it. You are someone who is so special to me that I want to celebrate you including on the holidays and your birthday. You are someone with whom I want to stay in contact and share our experiences in any way that we can. I also know and understand that there will be times when we do not hear from one another for a long time and that is just fine. As friends, we know that we are still there for one another and will catch up when time allows.
Now, as the holidays are fast approaching, I need to get back to doing some shopping for gifts for my friends which is where the whole idea for this blog began. See, that is just one more way that shows how helpful my friends really are to me?
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Barbara Jacoby is an award winning blogger that has contributed her writings to multiple online publications that have touched readers worldwide.