Holiday Lessons Learned After a Breast Cancer Diagnosis

As I find myself reflecting on the recent holiday season, I think that they were the best ones that I have ever had. This is not because of the presents that I received but rather because of the time that I spent with others and the conversations that we had that helped me to understand better not only those who are most important to me but also to learn more about myself.

“Doing something nice or kind for someone else will make you feel so much better about yourself and soon you will become a better person as you continue doing the same things on a regular basis.”Barbara Jacoby

I know that it isn’t easy to put thoughts and feelings into words, especially when they are of a very personal nature. Whether what you want to say is how you feel about someone else or how you are feeling inside, quite often the real words that you would need to express those feelings just don’t exist. For example, you say, “I love you” to your children, to your friends, to your family members and to the most special person in your life and while the words are the same, the meaning in each case is completely unique. That is why it is so often difficult to put our true feelings into words that others will understand.

The same is true for trying to express your own feelings about what is happening inside of yourself. For example, a breast cancer survivor may say to another person that they are so grateful just to be alive but for someone who has not had the same experience, they may not understand. The other person may feel that the survivor is being melodramatic or just seeking attention. This is because unless you have traveled this same road, you have no frame of reference in order to know what a psychological impact that cancer has upon a person.

I agree that it isn’t easy and for some, nothing will ever change because a person may not want to change the dialogue that runs through their head. But, if that is not the case, there is always a way out. I have found that you must do two things. You must not pay attention to what others think or say about you and you must change any negative dialogue that runs through your head.

So, start telling yourself what a good person you are and remind yourself of all of the nice things and kind things you do for others. This is the reality of who you are and if you don’t have anything positive on which to call on from inside yourself then it is time to change your behavior. Doing something nice or kind for someone else will make you feel so much better about yourself and soon you will become a better person as you continue doing the same things on a regular basis. There is always hope for the future if you just embrace that knowledge and do something to move in that direction