Finding the Right Breast Cancer Support Group

One of the most important things for some people when diagnosed with breast cancer is to find a support group. While this is much easier to do with the expanded availability of social media these days as opposed to when I was initially diagnosed, it may still be difficult for some to find one that works for them in their own area.

“There are those who are willing to help always if you are willing to do your part to locate them. And if at first you don’t succeed, try try again. You will be glad that you did.”Barbara Jacoby

Support groups seem to work well for many women as they are used to having a group of their own friends with whom they have been sharing their most intimate secrets since they were children. Therefore, it seems perfectly natural that this type of sisterhood would make a difference when sharing a common experience. Most people will find that even with all of the support and love and caring of family and friends and associates, unless you can share that with which you are dealing with someone else who is or has dealt with breast cancer, there is no way to have the same type of kinship.

This also applies to those who are or have been caregivers. There is no way to explain the demands upon a person of what it takes both physically and emotionally to support someone who is dealing with cancer. For many caregivers, they hardly have time to take care of themselves on a personal basis let alone find a way to carve out time to join a support group. And for many of these people, they feel guilty even considering getting help for themselves since they are not dealing with anything that has the magnitude of cancer. After all, they are the ones who are supposed to be strong and steady and reliable. Therefore, they need to show that they understand that they don’t need anything.

But what happens once you decided that you would like to join a support group? The tough part may still be in front of you. I have spoken to quite a few women who made the decision to attend a meeting because they wanted the sharing and support but finding something totally different than what they expected. What they needed was others who could share their experiences and perhaps offer ideas on how to deal with any number of problems that many other breast cancer patients had experienced.

What they got was a group of people who attended support groups who were looking for others to whom they could complain about the treatment they were receiving either medically or from their families, how they felt that they were entitled to certain things just because they were dealing with cancer and how they thought that everyone should feel sorry for them and answer to their every desire just because they had cancer.

In my own experience, the woman who was facilitating the group to which I was invited was so busy socializing with everyone and directing them with regard to how they should be doing things that no one ever had the opportunity to request the support that they really needed. Therefore, they, like those who did not wish to listen to complainers, walked away and never joined another support group. However, with the advent of social media and so many more groups who are working to help other survivors, I would like to encourage everyone who wishes to be a part of a support group to not give up if you do not find what you need in your first attempt.

I would suggest that you contact some of the large organizations to find out about the resources available in your area and most hospitals now have their own groups. You can always check with your primary care physician or your oncologist or other women that you know in your area for a personal referral. And if all else fails, you might want to look to organizations that might be having or would be willing to have online support groups to help. There are those who are willing to help always if you are willing to do your part to locate them. And if at first you don’t succeed, try try again. You will be glad that you did.