It’s that time of the year when many people focus on love and how to acquire it from the right person in order to make their lives complete. After all, with all of the emphasis on Valentine’s Day and giving and receiving of just the right gifts in order for others to know how much they are loved, it is very hard to ignore. But, for anyone who’s focused on a single day to represent love and the size of a gift to determine how much they are love, they have no concept of what true love really is.
And when two people go through something like this together, the bond of love only grows in ways that you can’t begin to imagine. Barbara Jacoby
So many people are focused on “finding” love. They search for the perfect person who will worship them, make them their priority, lavish them with gifts and compliments and do whatever is requested of them. And in case you haven’t already figured it out for yourself, this is not love. But, if this is what you have been taught is the ideal, then go for it, but you are missing out on so much more that life has to offer.
True love is a give and take. You must be able to give love and respect and care and importance to another person in order to be in a position to receive the same from another. This does not apply only to a mate but includes family and friends and anyone else that you wish to include in your life. To expect that another person should be there for you through thick and thin when you can’t do the same if the situation is reversed is a sad, sad situation. If you believe that you will ever know true love by only receiving what you want from someone else, you will have a very empty and hollow existence.
So what does breast cancer have to do with having love in your life? Everything – if you ask me. And if you ask anyone else who has dealt with breast cancer, or any other type of cancer, or illness, you will find that having a person, or people in your life, who truly love you makes all of the difference in your ability to deal with the issues that you face and to drive you to heal as quickly as possible so that you can do for yourself and your loved ones as you have in the past. You appreciate all of the love and support and help that you are receiving at this most trying time in your life but you want to be able to move past this and regain as much of your own independence as possible. But, most importantly, you really understand how much you are loved when you have the support and the concern and the help that surrounds you.
For many, however, when breast cancer or other illness comes their way, they find that those who they believed loved them are long gone. It may have been easy for that mate to be there when things were going well and they were getting whatever rewards and gratification that they needed from that relationship. But, as soon as something like an illness comes into the relationship or friendship, the other person departs. They can’t handle it when it really comes down to it. This shows that there never was any love in your relationship from the beginning. After all, if you love someone, the last thing you would ever consider doing is to abandon him or her in his or her time of greatest need.
I don’t know how I would have fared if I had to face my breast cancers alone. Yes, I would have found a way to make it through alone if necessary but the love of my husband did more for me than any medicine I could have been given. And when two people go through something like this together, the bond of love only grows in ways that you can’t begin to imagine. And no box of candies or huge bouquet of flowers or fancy dinner or expensive piece of jewelry would ever begin to say “I love you” in the same way as having someone who stands beside you in the best – and the worst – of times.
Barbara Jacoby is an award winning blogger that has contributed her writings to multiple online publications that have touched readers worldwide.