So God answered my prayers in the only way possible as my brother is no longer in pain and he will not have to deal with anymore cancer. I have been picturing him in heaven having met up with my dad and Uncle Joe and sharing a cocktail and talking about golf. I believe that hell is actually here on earth as we go through all of the pain and suffering that we create for ourselves until we learn all of the lessons that we need to learn. Then we are allowed to leave here to be with God. To me, that is the meaning of “eternal reward”.
For me, I am not going to spend my time grieving the loss of my brother but rather to use my energy to celebrate his wonderful life. I have such fun memories of our growing up as he and I were very close as kids. If we got in trouble, it was usually both at the same time. One example that stands out in my mind is the day that we got caught playing with matches. Believe me when I say that the ramifications were not pretty.
Another is the day when we were standing on his bed which was in the corner of his room and we were leaning against the wall. Something unremembered made us laugh so hard and the bed started moving away from the wall and we slid all the way down the wall until we hit the floor. We were literally pinned into that crevice and still laughing like crazy until we peed our pants. Of course, we got punished as we had no business standing on that bed in the first place.
And I guess the all-time bad deeds were actually done to my older sister when she was charged with baby sitting us. You see, she got just a little too bossy for our tastes, so he would hold her and I would hit her (no, we didn’t do any damage) when she got too far out of line. Of course, she told our parents when they got home and we got punished but we didn’t care because we knew that when we were all left along again, we would get her for tattling on us.
There are so many more stories like these that will continue to come to mind in the coming weeks, months and years. In addition there will be all of the wonderful memories as I recall the evolution of that kid into a wonderful man who worked hard in every way to create a good life for himself and the fabulous wife that he adored. He was kind, loving and caring and I will miss all of that. But, most of all I will miss his unique sense of humor, his teasing and his needling. There was nothing that was more fun than to watch his expression with that little bit of a smile that continued to expand whenever he felt that he pulled a good one on someone else. I am looking forward to seeing what he will do now that he is on the other side. I am sure that we are all in for some very good laughs in the future and we will all welcome every single one of them.