A Wonderful Brother Remembered – 15 Years Later

I wrote about my brother’s having surgery on March 18, 2008 wherein we all expected that things would go along perfectly as they have every time in the past with his many surgeries over the years.  This was his 12th surgery associated with his renal cancer and the pain resulting from damage done in his back in removing various tumors. But two hours into his surgery he suffered a heart attack and they were not able to revive him and he passed away.

“There was nothing that was more fun than to watch his expression with that little bit of a smile that continued to expand whenever he felt that he pulled a good one on someone else. “Barbara Jacoby

Now I must say that I had been praying very fervently to God that my brother would have no more cancer and no more pain. And He certainly answered my prayers. I first thought that I should have been a little more specific by asking that He keep my brother alive while fulfilling the first part of my request but I soon learned that would not have been in my brother’s best interest. For once they started the surgery and removed the metal that had been placed in his back in previous surgeries to stabilize some fused disks, they found a new tumor on his spine.

So God answered my prayers in the only way possible as my brother is no longer in pain and he will not have to deal with anymore cancer. I have been picturing him in heaven having met up with my dad and Uncle Joe and sharing a cocktail and talking about golf.

For me, I have not spent my time grieving the loss of my brother but rather to use my energy to celebrate his wonderful life. I have such fun memories of our growing up as he and I were very close as kids. If we got in trouble, it was usually both at the same time. One example that stands out in my mind is the day that we got caught playing with matches. Believe me when I say that the ramifications were not pretty when my dad found out.

Another is the day when we were standing on his daybed which was in the corner of his room and we were leaning against the wall. Something unremembered made us laugh so hard and the bed started moving away from the wall and we slid all the way down the wall until we hit the floor. We were literally pinned into that crevice and still laughing like crazy until we peed our pants. Of course, we got punished as we had no business standing on that bed in the first place.

And I guess the all-time bad deeds were actually done to my older sister when she was charged with baby sitting us. You see, she got just a little too bossy for our tastes, so he would hold her and I would hit her (no, we didn’t do any damage) when she got too far out of line. Of course, she told our parents when they got home and we got punished but we didn’t care because we knew that when we were all left along again, we would get her for tattling on us.

There are so many more stories like these that have to come to mind in the years since then. In addition there will be all of the wonderful memories as I recall the evolution of that kid into a wonderful man who worked hard in every way to create a good life for himself and the fabulous wife that he adored. He was kind, loving and caring and I will miss all of that. But, most of all I will miss his unique sense of humor, his teasing and his needling.

There was nothing that was more fun than to watch his expression with that little bit of a smile that continued to expand whenever he felt that he pulled a good one on someone else. I have continued to remember many more over the years now that he is on the other side. And I am sure that we are all in for some very good laughs in the future and we will all welcome every single one of them.