From: healthline.com
Staying connected with friends after a breast cancer diagnosis can be challenging — even when plenty of people are offering help and wishing you well.
Receiving a breast cancer diagnosis is a deeply personal experience and facing the challenges of living with and treating cancer can feel overwhelming. It’s natural to want time to yourself to process your thoughts and emotions — and it’s OK if you’re not up to answering questions and talking about your diagnosis with friends.
Taking time to care for yourself after a breast cancer diagnosis is paramount. But isolating yourself from friends isn’t helpful in the long run. A close support network does just that — supports you when you need it most, both mentally and physically.
If you’re finding it difficult to stay connected, engaging in small, controlled efforts can help you keep in touch without feeling social pressure. These tips can help.
1. Ask people to come for short visits
Even if you’re a homebody and an introvert, seeing loved ones in person is beneficial. According to a 2023 study on face-to-face interactions, being able to see the person you’re communicating with reinforces relationship bonds through subtle body language cues we may miss out on in message- or voice-only interactions.
Keep in mind that breast cancer can cause fatigue, so it’s OK to keep these visits short. Set boundaries for friends who want to come over. If short visits in person aren’t possible, or you’re not up to having people visit, video calls are the next best thing.
If you aren’t feeling up for in-person visits or video calls, try messaging through text or email. This can help you stay connected without the expectation of an immediate back-and-forth exchange.
Research from 2024 has found that, while face-to-face interactions are ideal for maintaining well-being and social connection, group messaging, voice calling, and online messaging are also linked to greater feelings of social connection.
If you feel stressed or pressured to respond to messages right away, let your friends know you’ll get back to them when you can. Or consider exchanging letters or cards sent via snail mail to help slow things down
Even when you’re going through breast cancer treatment, there are still things that need to get done each day as a part of supportive therapy or daily life upkeep.
Inviting a friend to join you during these activities can make the experience more enjoyable. After all, you’re going to be doing it anyway.
If you need to go for a walk to exercise, for example, invite a friend to join you. If you have a project in your home that needs to be done, ask a friend to come help.
Rest is important during breast cancer treatment. It’s also a good opportunity to share time with your friends in a quieter setting.
Watching a movie together, reading in the same room, or doing a quiet craft, like knitting, are all ways you can relax while still connecting with friends. When you really aren’t up for in-person visits, virtual movie nights over video call can be a great alternative.
During breast cancer treatment, it’s natural to want to maintain your sense of independence. It’s also normal to feel guilty or find it difficult to rely on others. Kindness is contagious, however, and acts of kindness don’t have to be big to make an impact.
Remember: Your friends want to help. Even if you don’t want them to take on major responsibilities, allowing them to help in small ways can boost your mental health and reinforce your bond.
Small ways you can let friends help you include:
- grabbing items from the store for you
- preparing an occasional meal
- driving you to doctor appointments
- helping with pet care, like walking your dog
- bringing in your mail from the mailbox
- dropping off comfort items
“Together but separate” hobbies are activities you can enjoy with your friends that don’t require you to physically be together.
Working on a scrapbook that you pass back and forth between one another is an example of how to stay connected on your own time. You can add favorite photos or memories to a page, then mail it or hand it over to the next friend for their contribution.
If scrapbooking feels too demanding, you can do this exercise with just about any activity. Sometimes, just sending old pictures back and forth through the mail is enjoyable. Photos of memorable or hilarious moments together can help you feel connected even when you’re apart.
Receiving a breast cancer diagnosis and undergoing treatment can be demanding on your mind and body. It’s natural to want to pull back from social obligations and interactions.
However, it’s important to remember that your friends are there to support you, and social connectedness can help boost your well-being.
Stay connected to your friends during breast cancer treatment by allowing small acts of kindness, setting boundaries on visits, and spending time completing activities on your to-do list.
Barbara Jacoby is an award winning blogger that has contributed her writings to multiple online publications that have touched readers worldwide.