Walking the Walk with Breast Cancer Patients

In Breast Cancer, Creating Happiness, Recent Posts by Barbara Jacoby

What is going on with so many people today who say they are going to do something and then they don’t? I am not talking about the ones who make a commitment and because of extenuating circumstances have to change plans.I am not even talking about the ones who just decide that they don’t want to do what they said they would and they let you know that they changed their minds. I am talking about the ones who say that they will do something and then disappear into the sunset without a single word. Perhaps this is most difficult for me when I see it being done to a person who is dealing with breast cancer and are relying the word of another for support services on any level.

“If you can talk the talk, then I certainly expect that you can walk the walk. I would do no less than that for anyone else and I hope that you feel the very same way.Barbara Jacoby

Maybe it is just me but when I give my word, it means something. If someone makes a request that I am not sure about, I will say that I will look into the matter and get back to the other person and that is exactly what I do.

Many times I have made plans to meet someone for dinner and for one reason or another, one of us can’t make it at the last moment. Well, that’s okay. One of us will pick up the phone and we will call to confirm. And if one of us can’t make it, that is just fine. We will re-schedule for another time. It doesn’t matter what the reason may be. It might be that one of us just doesn’t feel like going that evening. That is a perfectly acceptable reason among real friends.

But I am really bothered when I go to someone and I am told that the matter will be handled and then I don’t hear a word. I know that we all get busy and sometimes we forget things so that is the reason that I will follow up regarding the request that I made. And if I don’t get a response on the follow up, I know that I will have to start all over with someone else to help me and that often, I have lost precious time in helping someone if there is an impending deadline.

Even more importantly, when you promise a cancer patient to take them to a doctor’s appointment or for treatment or to go to the store for groceries or help with household chores, etc. and just don’t keep your word, think about what you may have done. It may be no big deal to you but you have hurt that patient even more than you can imagine. They are already dealing with so much and need your help so much more because there are things that they just can’t do without assistance at this time. And to leave them in the lurch at a time like this is just plain beyond anything that I can imagine.

I guess that some people feel that it is perfectly alright to disrespect another person in this way because they are important enough to do so. And I don’t know about the rest of the world but if I have come to you for help and/or guidance on a particular matter, it is because I consider that we are close enough to do something like that. If you don’t feel that you want or care to work with me that is fine. At least give me the consideration to let me know that you are not in a position to help, no matter the reason.

If you choose not to help someone after you agreed to do so and you can’t even give them the courtesy of a phone call, e-mail, whatever, please count on the fact that I have no respect for you and if I lose respect for you, we will no longer have any association. There are too many wonderful people out there who are willing to help or who have the respect and courtesy to let me know if they are not in a position to do so. If you can talk the talk, then I certainly expect that you can walk the walk. I would do no less than that for anyone else and I hope that you feel the very same way.