What I Want to Do With My Time

Shared By: Nicki Boscia Durlester, Beyond the Pink Moon

“What I want to do with my time. How there is a nationwide epidemic of lack of time along with a disease of chronic busyness. How people suffer from lack of patience from simple things like waiting in the grocery store line to their internet connection being too slow. Overrun with busyness in maintaining their lives while not having any time to enjoy the life they created. Dedicating time to being connected socially, yet struggling to connect in their moment-to-moment reality because they are crafting, manipulating, and staging a gram-able moment. I too suffer from all of these things…but time looks different to me now. Despite how difficult these weeks have been, time has actually slowed down. I savor, relish and appreciate on a more meaningful level. Time truly is a gift. When I have cried from a place I didn’t know existed, I cry for myself. The possibility of me missing my family and friends. The possibility of missing future experiences that will never occur. Then I cry for the simple things I love…the sound of the ocean, taste of ice cream, the way warm sun feels on my skin, how I can’t ever go to sleep till my feet touch Marks… or most of all, the sound of my children laughing or telling me they love me. I never once have cried thinking that I would miss a thing or possession. Not once. Yet so much of our time is spent planning, thinking about, and acquiring things. My sorrow is rooted in missing experiences un-had, moments un-lived, and the love lost from the enriching people that make my life so beautiful. That’s what I’m heartbroken over…and in that is also where my hope resides.”

By Michelle Antaya Grinsel ~ Shared In Loving Memory

Michelle had a BRCA mutation and was diagnosed with Stage III triple negative breast cancer at 36. Her mother, grandmother and great-grandmother before her all had breast cancer. Michelle had planned on having a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy, but was told she had until 40 to have the surgery. She thought she had more time. In spite of practicing active surveillance including regular MRI and mammogram screenings her genes did exactly what they were designed to do. 

Fifteen months after her initial diagnosis her breast cancer metastasized. As a Stage IV breast cancer patient she had undergone several treatment options and was most recently in a clinical trial. However, we have just learned that Michelle has passed away.

She has made an immeasurable difference in our lives with her courage, dignity and grace. She shared pearls of wisdom and was wise beyond her years. Her legacy has been cemented in this inspiring and powerful 30-minute movie that I hope that you will take the time to watch. We will never forget you, Michelle!