According to Wikipedia,

Saint Valentine’s Day, commonly shortened to Valentine’s Day is an annual commemoration held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions. The day is named after one or more early Christian martyrs, Saint Valentine, and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 AD. It was deleted from the Roman calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI, but its religious observance is still permitted. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as “valentines”). The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

It seems that we have strayed quite a distance from the original intent for this holiday but there are certain aspects that do remain that are quite charming.

I know many women who expect that for Valentine’s Day they should have lavish bouquets of flowers delivered to their offices so that everyone can see how much someone loves them.  There are those who expect expensive nights out on the town with fancy clothes and fancy foods and special tokens of love, like expensive jewelry.  There are those who feel unloved if they do not get a vacation or lavish gifts for the holiday.  This is just so sad because they are missing out on the real meaning of the day and are so focused on what they think that they should be getting that they completely forget about giving something special to the special love in their lives from whom they expect these presents. 

I do not understand how anyone can say that love someone else and then be so angry if they do not receive special gifts and attention on Valentine’s Day.  I don’t believe that you can base any relationship on what you can get out of it.  I can’t imagine having the need to show off whatever one might receive by taking it or having it delivered to a person’s office (and don’t tell me that it is because it can’t be delivered to your home because you are working).  There are plenty of ways to get whatever to the person that you want so that the gift, the time, the experiences and the sharing are just between you and your special love. 

There are many ways to enjoy the day without spending lots of money.  If you want to celebrate the day, why not do so by making your special someone’s favorite meal?  Perhaps a shared treat or some chocolates or a special champagne toast can mark the day.  It should surely include lots of love and laughter and sharing and caring which means that you will be giving each other the greatest gift of all on this special day and that is your time and yourself.  There is truly not a gift that you can buy that would ever be better than this.

This week is my husband Kirk’s birthday.  For those who are regular visitors here, you know that he is responsible for this website but in addition, he is the light of my life.  I don’t know how I could have gotten through so many tough times, not the least of which has been my cancer battles.  And I can’t begin to tell you how being able to share all of the fun times have been so greatly enhanced by having him with me.  So, what could I ever begin to find in the way of a present to give to someone so special on his very special day?

I have pondered this question for some time now and came up with absolutely, positively no idea.  I couldn’t imagine any mall having anything that would be special enough.  I couldn’t seem to think of anything that was a bit outside of the box.  But, finally, as I started to wake up this morning, I finally got an inspiration that I believe is special enough for him and something that will last forever.  Please let me share.

I have been working for some time on the concept for a second website.  I know what it is that it will represent and I know that those who are my friends both in person and online are exactly the people who will understand its purpose when all is ready.  I am not quite at the point where I want to reveal what the site is about but when it is ready, you will know to what I was referring when you see “the fish”.

How does this fit with Kirk’s birthday present?  Well, the new site is going to be dedicated to him as my special way of acknowledging all that he is and all that he gives all of the time.  At this point, he does know the concept and meaning of this site and the foundation from which it was conceive.  Therefore, he will understand that this gift to him is the greatest tribute that I can possibly give to him.

So on this very special day, there are no presents with great big bows or “things” that I have purchased just so that I have something to give to you.  As time goes by, I hope that the gift that I give to you this year will be one of the most memorable of all times. 

Okay, it is not tickets to a Notre Dame football game in South Bend and I know that I have to work out some other exciting things for next year so I’d better get started now.  But, long after the coming college football season is over and your favorite birthday shirt is in tatters from wear, I really hope that this lasting tribute to you will be the start of a legacy that you will be proud to have inspired.  And I truly hope that this is your best birthday ever, to date, and I wish you the realization of all of your dreams in the coming year.

Please share any thoughts you have. COMMENTS

That’s correct! After a 5-year friendship, I received a call from someone who was planning to be in the area for the next few days and wanted to get together. I told her that I was not interested in doing so and after a brief discussion I wished her all the best for her future, told her that I had nothing more to say and that I was hanging up. And that is what I did. I knew that it was the right thing to do but I had surprised myself in actually doing so. And when I talked to Kirk about it, he reminded me that I had done this once before – almost 12 years ago. Wow, now I really had to figure this out.

I have known for some time that this friend only contacted me when she wanted something. I felt sorry for her as she seemed to go from one big problem to another. I tried to help her in any way that I could and soon realized that although she would come to me to find answers she continued the same old patterns. That was fine with me until I started to resent her taking my time, my efforts and a whole lot more and wasting it. When she chose to move out of state almost a year ago, I felt that my problem had been solved.

So when she called me out of the clear, blue sky, I just answered her truthfully and sent her on her way. And then I started to feel a bit guilty because I knew that she didn’t understand what had happened even though I did explain to her the reason behind my choice. I kept thinking about it and thinking about it and then decided that there was something that I had not learned when I had released another friend in the past.

I have since come to the realization that I had the answer inside if I would just stop and listen. Why in heaven’s name would I want to have a relationship let alone a friendship with a person from whom I do not want to hear? And why should I feel badly about letting go of someone whose treatment of me is not acceptable to me? Why should I put someone else’s feelings ahead of my own? This is not a difficult decision. If I don’t want to spend time or interact with someone else who would fall into the “friend” category, then just don’t do it.

I believe that everyone who comes into our lives is there for a reason and that sometimes a person is there only long enough to teach us a lesson. Had I learned that 12 years ago when I fired a friend, I would not have needed to repeat the same lesson. But, I guarantee that I have learned this time and now I can move on to something else knowing full well that my “friend” has also had an opportunity to learn something about her friendships. I hope that it works for her too, so that she does not have to repeat the same lesson.

In the meantime, I have made plans with some of my real friends with whom I really enjoy spending my time and I am so very grateful to have them in my life. And I will always spend the biggest moments in my life with my very best friend, my wonderful husband, Kirk! And that is exactly what works for me and I know deep down inside is exactly what is right for me.

I would love your comments.