So, you have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time and you are facing a double mastectomy and reconstruction along with a parathyroid/thyroid surgery at some point.  What do you do?  Yes, I did go to Disneyland. But, if you are me and you have the most supportive and awesome husband imaginable, you start writing a weekly blog.  You see, Kirk kept nudging me to write about my experiences and he promised that he would create and manage a website for me where I could write about anything that I wanted and he would take care of the rest.

Today is the 52^nd blog for year four.  Through a total of 4 surgeries for 6 separate procedures, we never missed so much as 1 weekly blog in all of that time.  I am feeling so very proud of that accomplishment and the commitment that it took to make it happen, not only on my part but also on Kirk’s part.  But, I must say that this would never have reached this 4-year anniversary if it were not for all of the wonderful people and all of the support that I have received from the social media community.  There are so many people that I have met initially on Facebook and Twitter and even MySpace who will be friends forever.  I have been invited into so many homes and lives that I would never have known if it were not for so many wonderful experiences that I have had in the cyber world.  And if it were not for Kirk’s gentle prodding, there is no way that I would have become a part of the social media world.

Therefore, as we kick off year 5 next week, I was trying to think about what I could do in order to recognize some of those wonderful people who have been so special and supportive to me and for whom I am so very grateful.  As a result, I have created the “Gratitootie Award” that will recognize each week one very special person who has made a difference in my life.  I am looking forward to recognizing these people who may not even realize what a difference they have made by sharing their own special story or who may have provided support in ways they may never have even realized.

I know that I will never be able to acknowledge every single person for whom I am grateful and I am sure that you may also have special people whom you have met as a result of their connection to the social media world that you would also like to acknowledge so please stay tuned for further details later in 2012 to find out how you, too, can have those people to whom you are so grateful receive a Gratitootie Award.

As for me, I would love to thank each and every person who has become a part of my cyber world and to let you know what a difference you have made.  If it were not for you and this most wonderful opportunity to share here with you, I know that my life and my future would never have had the most fabulous outlook that I am visualizing.  You have given me a purpose that I would otherwise never have known and a venue for sharing that has allowed me to know that I am not alone in my experiences and what I have shared has made a difference for all of use. For that, I will be eternally grateful.

Earlier today, I saw a commercial open with a card that read “The Gift of Time”.  The ad was for Kentucky Fried Chicken and picking up some food from their establishments in order to save the time that it takes to cook dinner.  But when I saw and then heard those words, my thoughts went in an entirely different direction.

I want the gift of time for myself and for every other person who has either been told or has/had fears that their time for life is limited.  I want it for every parent who wants more time with a child who is facing a life-threatening illness.  I wish for more time for every child who needs it in order to make peace with a parent.  And I want more time for every single person who wishes for it. 

I know that there are lots of people who are having a very hard time this year at Christmastime because of financial considerations.  They are having a hard time paying the mortgage, keeping up with the fancy cars and buying the kids every single thing that they want.   There are also those who have lost their jobs and can’t even afford to put food on the table or get their kids a single present.   They might not be able to get their families a lot of “stuff” but that doesn’t mean that they can’t appreciate the holidays in so many ways. 

All we need is time.  We need time to enjoy the holidays.  We need time to appreciate each other.  We need time to laugh together and enjoy each others’ company.  We need time to understand that there is nothing more important than people and loving and helping each other.  We need time to recognize that the holidays are there to remind us that we can keep the holiday spirit all year around if we so choose. 

So as I sit here tonight, just one week before Christmas, watching the Christmas movies, enjoying the beautiful tree that has been up since before Thanksgiving and enjoying the time that I am spending with Kirk as we share a cocktail and the hors d’oeuvres that he has prepared, I know that I have exactly what I want.  I don’t need a bunch of presents under the tree.  I don’t need fancy clothes and holiday parties where everyone is out to impress one another.  I know that all that I need is the wonder of the evening that I have right before me and that the spirit of Christmas is already completely evident in my life.

 So, my Christmas wish for everyone else in the world is that you know the experience that I am sharing with my husband tonight.  I want for you all to have a wonderful life that is shared with your loved one and many, many days and nights where you have the time to share the love that you have for one another.  I want you to know that “things” don’t matter when you are fortunate enough to share your life and love with those who are nearest and dearest to your heart.  And I want you to know that I wish for each of you the most wonderful and awesome gift that you could ever receive and that is the gift of time.  Merry Christmas and enjoy every single moment that you are given to share these holidays with those who are nearest and dearest to you.  This truly is the season of miracles.

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Earlier this week, I watched some of the coverage of the devastation from the earthquakes and tsunamis in the regions of Indonesia and those sights were totally surreal.  I watched local coverage of those people who lost family and friends in those parts of the world and couldn’t begin to imagine what they were feeling.  And then my mind wandered to thoughts of how everything can be changed forever in a single moment and how fragile life really is.

Many turned away from the news stories and buried themselves in other programming but I don’t really think that it is because they didn’t care or weren’t concerned because it didn’t happen in their areas.  I think that it was because they didn’t want to confront the reality of the devastation, the loss of so many lives, the extent of injuries and the photos of all of the people who did survive who were left without homes and food and water and had no idea of how they could possibly keep going.  And then I couldn’t help but wonder, what if something like that had happened to me today?

I know how truly fortunate I am.  I know that the most important thing in my life has always been and will always be other people.  I have the best husband in the world and I absolutely treasure the person that he is and the love and caring that he gives to me every single day.  I have only a few family members left and they live on the other side of the country but I know that they are always there for us and that is something that money can’t buy.  I have wonderful friends and co-workers and we all look out for one another.  All of that means more to me than I could ever express.  And that is when I realized that if something like a devastating earthquake happened in my area today, as long as my husband and our families and friends all made it through, we would be just fine.

The reason I know that is that I have seen the power of people united before.  I have seen people gather and help one another at times of crisis.  No, I am not naïve enough to believe that everyone is that way.  I have seen the other side of humanity at times like the Los Angeles riots in the early 90′s.  But, even at that time when I was living alone, I did have three other friends who had joined me in my home and we all hung in there together until the immediate dangers had past and it was once again safe to leave the area.  And when we left, one of those friends took me to his family’s home where I stayed until it was safe to return to my own place.

It was in that moment when I realized that should some major event occur in my area, I really had nothing to fear.  As has happened in the past, I would once again be surrounded by people who would all help each other, those who quite often put the safety of others ahead of their own, those who have compassion and caring to soothe those who are frightened and those who would contribute everything they have to the good of everyone around them.  After all, I truly believe that this is the nature of most human beings and in times of crisis, everyone helps everyone else in whatever manner they can.

I would love your comments.

I will never forget the day that I left.  The feeling of freedom was indescribable.  I felt that I had been given a new life and I had every intention of doing the best with it that I possibly could.  Although there were the immediate matters with which to deal, I knew that I had to handle them quickly and put them behind me if I was ever going to be able to start over. 

I got a divorce and ultimately left the state.  My ex had no idea where I was and I was pretty sure that he did not have the resources to find me.  I spent all of my time and effort securing a new job, new friends and a new life.  Whenever something from the past intruded, I made every effort to put it aside as quickly as possible.  I had spent enough time living the nightmare and I did not plan to keep re-living it for the rest of my life. 

Although my experience was really bad, I have chosen to learn from it and never held on to any hate and/or anger.  I understand that my ex was an extremely troubled person who felt that it was okay to take his anger and insecurities out on me.  I had to reach the point where I realized that there was nothing that I could do to change the situation and that there was nothing that I was doing to cause his behavior.  I needed to leave in order to survive and that was it.  I did learn that he died a few years ago, all alone, on Christmas Day.

The bigger lesson that I needed to learn was that I could learn from the past but not live in the past.  I could not change what had happened during those years but I could allow the lessons of that time to shape a kinder, gentler me.  I had the ability to structure a whole new life in which I could treat people with all of the kindness and love and understanding that I had not received in my marriage.  I also learned that all that I have is today and that when I go to bed at night, I wanted to be proud of the day that I had created.  The lessons that I have learned have become the basis for the lyrics for the music CD that my husband and I have created.  Not surprisingly, it is titled “Let Life Happen” and was the pre-cursor to my blog and the website.  Please feel free to share the music on this website and you will have a better understanding of the lessons that I have learned from that abusive time.

If you or anyone you know might need help, Check out the National Domestic Violence Hotline website.

Walk Like A man

I received an e-mail from my friend to whom I had made the initial request. She informed me that the coach read my letter to his players at practice. They were so moved by what I had to say that they upped the ante and although they have already raised $35,000.00 in less than two months, they challenged themselves to reach $50,000.00 by the time the event takes place next Saturday on February 14th.

Can you believe that? Most high school guys would have responded by resting on their laurels and thinking about how great they were. These men understood the message and stepped up to the plate to push themselves that much harder to set a tough goal for themselves.

Okay, that is why I am begging all of you to please help out in any way that you can. Please make a contribution to the cause if you can. Purchase some merchandise if you are able to do so. But if you are unable to do anything financially, I would really appreciate it if you would log on to the coach’s e-mail at joswaks@crespi.org and let them know how awesome they are for taking on this challenge and giving back to their community in such a big way.

This coach and his coaching staff and every member of the committee that put together this event and every member of the team that is raising money for the cause are our special angels. They have all literally been giving themselves to this cause to make it an unbridled success and are truly the angels in our community.

I have been checking the weather reports and there is nothing but rain in the forecast for next weekend. I know that everyone will still show up and do their part regardless but please, please help them and support them. I will be there myself come rain or shine so please feel free to send a message to me for them if you wish and I will be sure to pass it to them.

I can be reached at letlifehappen@gmail.com and would appreciate it if you would help all of us. And if you can make a contribution to the cause, please log on to the website at www.crespi.dojiggy.com and help in any way that you can. Your contributions will be appreciated more than you will ever know. I will update you on the results from this event in my blog next Sunday. Please, we need your support.

It’s my favorite day of the year. I love everything about this day – not only all of the traditions that we have created in our family but mostly because of what it stands for.

I think that I am the most grateful person in the world today. Since last year, the cancer returned but is now gone and everything is looking very promising for the future. I had wonderful doctors to help me along the way and am so very happy to have my life.

I am so very grateful for the most wonderful spouse ever. I don’t know what I would have done without him in facing all of the hard times but he was there every second of the time. That is not surprising because he has always been right by my side during the hard time and he makes the good times totally remarkable and fun. There is nothing more important to me.

I have a job that I really enjoy and the promise for the future looks good there also. It is so great to join a group of people each day that support each other and help each other and laugh together. For this opportunity, I am ever so happy.

We have two autos that are working well. One is a company car for Kirk. Our second car which was 20 years old and in pretty bad condition was recently replaced by a used car that we were able to obtain in a most incredible deal under terms that we could afford – and we did not have to deal with a single car sales person. How would I not be thankful for that!

We have everything that we need to make a wonderful life together and that is most important. We don’t need fancy things nor the biggest and best of everything but we have exactly what we need which is trust and understanding and most of all, love.

So on Thursday as I prepare our traditional dinner and we sit down to share not only the food but also all of the things for which we are thankful, I will have the longest list of all. I will reflect on the past year and be appreciative for all of my good fortunes. And I will also know that in the coming year I will be grateful and thankful for each and every day of this life that I am given. And as long as I feel such happiness inside for everything that I have, how could I want for anything more?

As I sat here tonight contemplating the first round of my reconstruction surgery on Tuesday, I couldn’t help but realize how fortunate I am to be in this situation.  I have survived two rounds of breast cancer and cannot believe that I have had such wonderful medical personnel with which to work that have provided me with the best of care and testing that has resulted in my diagnoses and surgeries before the cancer had a chance to spread.

I work for the Walt Disney Company.  I have been afforded the opportunity to have great medical insurance that continues to provide coverage that I would never have been able to afford under any other circumstances.  I am surrounded by a great team of co-workers that have been so supportive as I have traveled this journey for more than a year now.  What more could anyone ask for?

I really do find myself at the happiest place on earth.  There are so many more aspects to this company that people never have the opportunity to see.  If you happen to watch the TV show “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”, you can get an idea of the spirit of this company and for what its employees stand.

Many of my co-workers are part of the Disney VoluntEARS who give countless hours of their time and energy in assisting people in their communities in just about every way imaginable.  The volunteering spirit seems to represent a uniqueness in the character of the people that this company employs.

My wish is that more companies begin to embody the spirit of this company and what it provides for its employees on so many levels.  It not only provides family values and content for its audiences around the world but also those employed here subscribe to the same values and share them in so many ways. 

So as I once again face a surgery on Tuesday, I not only will have my own wonderful family with me to cheer me on and support me along the way but I will also have another whole big team who has already supported my past recoveries and volunteered to help in any way possible.  I can’t begin to tell you how much that means to me.