So, you have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time and you are facing a double mastectomy and reconstruction along with a parathyroid/thyroid surgery at some point.  What do you do?  Yes, I did go to Disneyland. But, if you are me and you have the most supportive and awesome husband imaginable, you start writing a weekly blog.  You see, Kirk kept nudging me to write about my experiences and he promised that he would create and manage a website for me where I could write about anything that I wanted and he would take care of the rest.

Today is the 52^nd blog for year four.  Through a total of 4 surgeries for 6 separate procedures, we never missed so much as 1 weekly blog in all of that time.  I am feeling so very proud of that accomplishment and the commitment that it took to make it happen, not only on my part but also on Kirk’s part.  But, I must say that this would never have reached this 4-year anniversary if it were not for all of the wonderful people and all of the support that I have received from the social media community.  There are so many people that I have met initially on Facebook and Twitter and even MySpace who will be friends forever.  I have been invited into so many homes and lives that I would never have known if it were not for so many wonderful experiences that I have had in the cyber world.  And if it were not for Kirk’s gentle prodding, there is no way that I would have become a part of the social media world.

Therefore, as we kick off year 5 next week, I was trying to think about what I could do in order to recognize some of those wonderful people who have been so special and supportive to me and for whom I am so very grateful.  As a result, I have created the “Gratitootie Award” that will recognize each week one very special person who has made a difference in my life.  I am looking forward to recognizing these people who may not even realize what a difference they have made by sharing their own special story or who may have provided support in ways they may never have even realized.

I know that I will never be able to acknowledge every single person for whom I am grateful and I am sure that you may also have special people whom you have met as a result of their connection to the social media world that you would also like to acknowledge so please stay tuned for further details later in 2012 to find out how you, too, can have those people to whom you are so grateful receive a Gratitootie Award.

As for me, I would love to thank each and every person who has become a part of my cyber world and to let you know what a difference you have made.  If it were not for you and this most wonderful opportunity to share here with you, I know that my life and my future would never have had the most fabulous outlook that I am visualizing.  You have given me a purpose that I would otherwise never have known and a venue for sharing that has allowed me to know that I am not alone in my experiences and what I have shared has made a difference for all of use. For that, I will be eternally grateful.

Earlier this week, I watched some of the coverage of the devastation from the earthquakes and tsunamis in the regions of Indonesia and those sights were totally surreal.  I watched local coverage of those people who lost family and friends in those parts of the world and couldn’t begin to imagine what they were feeling.  And then my mind wandered to thoughts of how everything can be changed forever in a single moment and how fragile life really is.

Many turned away from the news stories and buried themselves in other programming but I don’t really think that it is because they didn’t care or weren’t concerned because it didn’t happen in their areas.  I think that it was because they didn’t want to confront the reality of the devastation, the loss of so many lives, the extent of injuries and the photos of all of the people who did survive who were left without homes and food and water and had no idea of how they could possibly keep going.  And then I couldn’t help but wonder, what if something like that had happened to me today?

I know how truly fortunate I am.  I know that the most important thing in my life has always been and will always be other people.  I have the best husband in the world and I absolutely treasure the person that he is and the love and caring that he gives to me every single day.  I have only a few family members left and they live on the other side of the country but I know that they are always there for us and that is something that money can’t buy.  I have wonderful friends and co-workers and we all look out for one another.  All of that means more to me than I could ever express.  And that is when I realized that if something like a devastating earthquake happened in my area today, as long as my husband and our families and friends all made it through, we would be just fine.

The reason I know that is that I have seen the power of people united before.  I have seen people gather and help one another at times of crisis.  No, I am not naïve enough to believe that everyone is that way.  I have seen the other side of humanity at times like the Los Angeles riots in the early 90′s.  But, even at that time when I was living alone, I did have three other friends who had joined me in my home and we all hung in there together until the immediate dangers had past and it was once again safe to leave the area.  And when we left, one of those friends took me to his family’s home where I stayed until it was safe to return to my own place.

It was in that moment when I realized that should some major event occur in my area, I really had nothing to fear.  As has happened in the past, I would once again be surrounded by people who would all help each other, those who quite often put the safety of others ahead of their own, those who have compassion and caring to soothe those who are frightened and those who would contribute everything they have to the good of everyone around them.  After all, I truly believe that this is the nature of most human beings and in times of crisis, everyone helps everyone else in whatever manner they can.

I would love your comments.

I have spent a great portion of my life allowing others to make my decisions for me.  When I was a child, I did everything according to what my parents dictated.  As I grew older, the peer pressure kicked in and off and running I went with the pack.  Then it was in the work place where I acquiesced to all of the rules and regulations of the office.  And at the same time, my social life was governed by all of the usual ways of meeting and getting to know others.  That was until I started to see that all of the tried and true methods of existing with others didn’t work for me.

The first thing that I had decided to tackle was religion.  I had been raised to believe that God was someone/something to fear.  This worked for all of the time that I was under the thumb of my parents and religious studies but once I was on my own, I started to question this premise.  That wasn’t my God – my God loved me and helped me and I was made in his image.  Ding, ding, ding!  So what everyone else had told me was true was not my truth. 

That wasn’t the end by a long shot.  As I moved through the work place, I worked very hard and was able to work my way up through the ranks in a segment of government dealing with taxation.  When I reached the top position that I could attain without a political appointment, I knew that it was time to move on but that did not happen until I learned another very important lesson.  There were rumors going around that said that the only way that I could have achieved what I had was because I was “sleeping” with someone higher executive.  I was having a really hard time dealing with that and I chose to discuss it with my dad.  His response to me was that at the end of the day, I had to answer to myself and if I wasn’t doing anything wrong, then it didn’t really matter what anyone had to say.  Now that was something that fitted with my thinking.

Well, I guess I still hadn’t learned my lesson because the next big event in my life was my marriage to a controlling and abusive man to whom I gave my power for 10 years.  It took me that long to understand that I did not deserve the abuse that I was receiving and that all of the things that I was told that were wrong with me just weren’t true.  I believe that that was my true turning point.

Please don’t get me wrong.  I still do ask for people’s opinions especially when I need to make a decision in an area where I don’t have any expertise.  But, I will take that information and do my own research and if something doesn’t make sense to me or doesn’t feel right, I will not stop until I can reach a decision that feels like the right thing for me.  This has ruffled more than a few feathers along the way but if my relationship with another person has to be based upon what that person thinks about me, it won’t take long until we part ways.

So to anyone who comes my way in this lifetime, I don’t care what you think about me.  I will appreciate you for exactly who and what you are and I expect the same in return.  I will support you in any decisions that you make and I will accept nothing less in return.  And should you choose to talk negatively about me or do things that are harmful to me, I will not do anything in retribution but will quietly remove myself from your sphere, knowing that what goes around comes around and you can set up any karma for yourself that you choose.

Today is April 8^th and this is a very special day in my life.  It was my father’s birthday.  My father passed away on January 2, 1989.  On April 8, 1989, I met Kirk and another special friend.  I remember that as I returned home after meeting these two people that I realized that it was my father’s birthday and I thanked him for the gifts that he had sent to me on his special day.  Little did I realize at that time that my father had actually sent to me that day the man that would ultimately become my husband.

Kirk and I had moved to Nashville at the request of some music executives that were starting a new record company and who wanted to have Kirk record for their new label.  However, they never received the final funding for their new venture so we saved up our money and moved back to the Los Angeles area to start over.  I had taken a temp position with a company with whom I wanted to have a long-term association and I was hired as a permanent employee starting on, of course, April 8^th.  And I am still working for that same company today – 12 years later.

I believe that this was my dad’s way of helping me after he had crossed over to the other side.  I don’t think that anything happens by accident nor do I believe in coincidences.  If I take the time to think about things in retrospect, I can see how the happenings in life have a purpose and how they provide me with the opportunity to learn new lessons at each step of the way.  And as long as I continue to think this way, I find that everything that happens allows me to grow in peace, prosperity and happiness in this life.

My ultimate challenge is finding a way to help others to understand this basic premise.  Life is simple.  If we choose, we can make it difficult but it doesn’t have to be that way.  I recently had a long conversation with a friend who was totally in the “Woe is me!” mode, who believes that the tough times that she has experienced are some of the worst ever and who faces each day worrying that more of the same trials will come her way.  It was most difficult for me to not say to her that as long as she stays in that mode of thinking, more than likely, those same trials will, in fact, come her way.

There are three things in play here for her.  First, we manifest what we think and believe.  As long as she puts out into the universe that she expects more trials and tribulations that is exactly what she will draw to herself.  Second, in each tough moment, we have the opportunity to learn a lesson.  If we choose not to learn our lessons, we will have the opportunity to have more and more of the same experiences until we do learn or until we crumble under the weight of the negativity that we have created for ourselves.  And third, we need to take responsibility for the choices that we make.  I will reserve further comment on that until next week.

I thank my father for the gifts that he has sent my way since his passing, not only on his birthday but throughout the years.  I thank him for showing me the purpose of awareness so that I have been able to expand it into all facets of my life.  And I thank him now for the help that he will provide in the future in helping me to find the way to share the things that he has taught me in my quest to help others.  And I will know exactly the moment when that happens as I will have been able to help someone else to understand the things that I know and live.  I just can’t wait for that to happen so that I can share his gifts with others. 

I had to run some errands this morning and while I was getting ready I noticed that it was raining as had been predicted. I checked the weather report and I heard that it was suppose to continue all day. Right before I was ready to depart, I was hoping that it would at least slow down to a drizzle and I looked through the blinds to find out that it had stopped completely. I immediately found myself saying “Thank you” as I put on my coat to head out. Then I started musing about that “Thank you”.I realized that it was directed to God and that somewhere along the line I had gotten into the habit of thanking God for all of the wonderful things that have come my way. In fact, in my daily prayers I find that I thank Him for everything that he has done for me (and Kirk, and family, etc.), for everything that He is doing and for everything that he will do.

I don’t remember exactly when I started doing that. I know that someone had told me to do it and at the time it felt right, so, I did it. And as I thought about it today, I remember that over the years, whenever something wonderful came my way, I felt such a high level of elation as I thanked Him for so many things. I realized that I had also slipped into it in my daily life on just about every level. For example, if someone cut me off while driving, I thanked Him for keeping me from getting into an accident. That helped me because I was using my energy in that manner rather than getting pissed off at the driver who cut me off. Or when I got some wonderful news about something, my thoughts went immediately to that every present “Thank you”. Often I actually feel like I am jumping up and down on the inside and I just can’t stop smiling.

Now as I reflect on it, I find that the more that I got into the habit of saying “Thank you” out loud or in my thoughts, I realized that the gratitude I felt would make me feel so happy. Heck, I was so grateful for so many things in my life that it seemed like I was pretty much happy all of the time. When I get bad news, I still am quite capable of getting upset and feeling sorry for myself and I do allow myself to let that out. But rather than staying in that mindset for any period of time, I find that I start to focus on all of the reasons as to why this “bad” news may not be so bad.

I find that this exercise of positive thinking works best when whatever is occurring is happening to me. I am the one who can create the reasons why a particular situation is something for which I am grateful and I am the one who can translate that gratitude into something positive that, in turn, is something that will make me create happiness for myself.
And by the same token, I wish that somehow I could find the way to show this process to others. Perhaps that is what I am hoping to accomplish by these writings.

I have so many wonderful people around me. I wish that there was a manual that I could write that would teach everyone how to create this happiness. So far, the best that I have been able to do is to live my life in a way that hopefully will serve as a good example to others in knowing that happiness is something that we can all own and to share my positive outlook with others so that they can see what a difference it makes.

Every time that I thank someone for whatever kindness they may have done for you or every time that someone appreciates what I have done for them, there is a feeling of gratitude toward one another that is indescribable. And the more that I create that gratitude in my life, the more I create happiness. Seems like a pretty interesting habit to get into if you ask me.