In Creating Happiness, Recent Posts by Barbara Jacoby

We were missing in action from the radio show this week as Kirk and I were attending the marriage of his nephew (and Godson) to what appears to be the perfect mate for him.  Of course no one will ever know what goes on behind closed doors but these two really do seem to balance each other and to be better people for having the other person in their life.  I am so very happy for these two mid-20’s individuals who have their whole lives in front of themselves with someone who has just indicated in front of some 200 witnesses that they will stand by each other for life.  What a commitment!

Some people may ask why bother getting married?  And if they can’t see what a marriage is then perhaps it is not for them.  But as I sat there and reflected on my own marriage as well as those of the others around me that I knew, I was truly grateful for my own partnership and for what we share as a result as well as those other family members.  One cousin who was sitting next to me indicated that she and her husband have now been married for 35 years and as she explained, you don’t always agree with one another and that you may fight and argue for your own point but in the end, you do compromise in order to make things work.  I like this thought process.  It is so wonderful when you care enough about your spouse to not only want what you want but to also take into consideration what is important for the other person.  It is never, ever a matter of winning or losing but trying to make each other happy.  Whenever someone sees it as a contest to be won or lost, then there is no partnership or respect or true love for your mate.  That is the type of marriage that would never work for me.

I will acknowledge that there are plenty of marriages where one person is always the giver and one is always the taker and this works for both of the partners in the good times.  But should something happen where the giver is no longer in a position to give, it is not unusual for the taker to make a grand exit.  When they can no longer continue in the role for which they believe they signed up, then it becomes time to find a new play in which to perform.

I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am for the partner that I have.  We, too, balance each other, care about each other and love each other more than life itself.  I can’t tell you how wonderful that feels.  To know that regardless of what may come your way in life, to know that someone is standing beside you no matter with what you may need to deal gives you a sense of peace and contentment and love that is unparalleled.  There is an old saying that “no man is an island”.  I do believe that and I hope that I will never have to “stand alone” again for as long as I am on this earth.  And I do wish this for every single married couple that I know as well as for these newlyweds whose journey together in this life is now one day old.

What are your views of marriage? COMMENTS