Breast Cancer Patients Being Compassionate to Others

There isn’t a breast cancer patient out there who doesn’t need help and assistance of non-medical individuals in dealing with a cancer diagnosis and all of the surgeries and treatments that will follow. Those family, friends and associates, commonly referred to caregivers” help in every single aspect of a patient’s life and will do everything that they possibly can in order to deal with the illness of the cancer patient. Most often, this help is done with little or no direction or help or guidance in knowing exactly what to do or what to say in this new role. Therefore, it continues to puzzle me when I learn about a cancer patient who is less than compassionate toward anyone who is a caregiver or helper to them.

“We are all human and we all have our own pains and sufferings. Those who are helping us deserve all of our appreciation and gratitude.”Barbara Jacoby

I understand that a patient is often in pain and not feeling very well. Surgery and treatments can take a great toll on the physical body as well as the mental health of a patient. It is understandable that there will be moments when we say or do something that is less than kind toward someone who is trying to be helpful to us. Whether sick or not, we all have our moments but that is not to what I am referring. Rather, there are people who choose to take advantage of those who are trying to help them just because they feel that because they have breast cancer, they can say or do whatever they want.

I suppose that many people forget or never acknowledge what a sacrifice it might be on the part of a caregiver to help out. No matter who it is, the caregiver still has his/her own life and responsibilities so their willingness to help a patient puts an additional burden upon them. While no caregiver would ever choose to be in the position of a patient, that doesn’t mean, especially if it is a close family member, that the caregiver doesn’t have his/her own stresses and concerns and emotional issues to deal with as a result of the patient’s cancer. The long arm of that cancer reaches places in every area in which the patient has a connection.

For some caregivers that stress when accompanied by bad treatment from the patient just might push them over the edge and they will ultimately end up walking away from the patient. Each one of us can only handle so much and if a person doing everything possible to support and help a patient is being disrespected and abused in return, it is no wonder that they will start to push back. After all, no one owes another person anything and that includes help when it is not only not appreciated but also downright abused.

For every person who has or ever will be faced with breast cancer, know that you cannot take this journey alone. While there are the medical personnel who help with that aspect of your health, it will be the support system that you have in place to deal with everything else that will ultimately determine your success and/or failure in your treatment and recovery. That person or those people are there to support you because they have chosen to do so.

The patient needs to understand that the caregivers have assumed these responsibilities on top of the rest of what might be a very stressful life. They have not become your person servants and should not be treated that way. Therefore, it will be incumbent upon the patient to show compassion and understanding if a caregiver has a bad day or arrives later than previously anticipated or loses his/her temper in the moment.

We are all human and we all have our own pains and sufferings. Those who are helping us deserve all of our appreciation and gratitude. And just in case you have forgotten, put yourself in the place of your caregiver for a moment and think how you would like it if someone else treated you with disrespect and bad behavior when all you were doing was trying to help. It may just put things in the right perspective for you.