Thursday, May 23, 2013

After the Aurora Massacre – What Can We Learn

July 22, 2012 by  
Filed under Creating Happiness, Recent Posts

theater feature 300x190 After the Aurora Massacre – What Can We LearnI don’t think that there is a single person who upon hearing about the theatre massacre in Aurora, CO wasn’t emotionally impacted. It hits our senses like a ton of bricks and we are so angry that the behavior of one person has not only taken the lives of so many but also has impacted forever the rest of the people in the theatre, their families, friends and every other person who hears this story. We can’t understand this. Here is a group of people who were out to enjoy themselves at a movie premiere having their lives completely altered forever. My question is

If you think that the changes that you see in another person may result in danger to the individual or someone else, don’t just ignore it. You may be wrong and nothing is lost. But, if you are right, you just might prevent an event of catastrophic proportions and get help for the person who is in need before they ruin their own life and the lives of those around them.

could this have been stopped before it happened and how can we help to keep this kind of thing from happening in the future?

I, personally, have witnessed a murder. One man shot another man at point blank range just 5 feet away from my driver’s side car window. After he killed him, he looked at me and told me to get out of there, and I did exactly that before he might have decided to change his mine and shoot me as well. I was fortunate to escape with my life but the murder is forever etched in my mind. I knew the murderer from having seen him around but did not know the person who was murdered other than having seen him that evening. What I knew of the killer was that he was rather quiet, always pretty much stayed to himself but was always a very polite person. But, what if I had known the killer better? Could I have done something that would have kept this murder from ever happening?

I have since learned that no one “just loses it” and kills someone else. This theatre killer is just one more example that proves that there are usually signs of trouble. Everyone was shocked when this person’s mother told the police that they had the right person so what did this mother know that led her to say this and why did she not say something if she knew that her son was in trouble? What changes did she see in her son that made her aware of potential danger? Did she do anything to reach out to him to help him? One of the most important things that I know is that “if you see something, say something”. If you think that the changes that you see in another person may result in danger to the individual or someone else, don’t just ignore it. You may be wrong and nothing is lost. But, if you are right, you just might prevent an event of catastrophic proportions and get help for the person who is in need before they ruin their own life and the lives of those around them.

The other most important factor is to always be aware of your surroundings. Whether it is your workplace, the local restaurant that you frequent, your child’s school, the mall, or as in this case, a movie theatre, check out your surroundings. Be aware of the location of the exits. Become familiar with places where you might be able to reach where you can hide out. Think about what you might do to protect yourself and those with you if you suddenly find yourself in a situation where someone has entered your space with a weapon.

Think of it as the same thing as when you are given instructions on an airplane about what you should do in case of an emergency. It is also the reason that we do fire drills and earthquake drills. That pre-planning is not done to scare you into worrying that the plane is going to crash or that you will have a fire in your home or an earthquake is going to hit your area. It is to help you to survive should such an emergency arise. So should you prepare yourself for any imminent threat that may present itself. If you are prepared, you will improve your chances of survival by acting and reacting according to the script that you have already rehearsed rather than having no idea of what to do next. It might just save your life!

Facebook comments:

comments

Powered by Facebook Comments

  • http://twitter.com/letlifehappen/status/228981063039451136/ @letlifehappen

    I was fortunate to escape with my life but the murder is forever etched in my mind. http://t.co/dErWnxf5 #violence

  • http://twitter.com/letlifehappen/status/227806756674351104/ Barbara Jacoby (@letlifehappen)

    Always be aware of your surroundings. http://t.co/dErWnxf5 #coloradomassacre #auroratragedy

  • http://twitter.com/letlifehappen/status/227709191257743361/ @letlifehappen

    I have since learned that no one “just loses it” and kills someone else. http://t.co/dErWnxf5 #coloradomassacre #auroratragedy

  • Mandi

    This was such a devastating tragedy. I still can’t believe that so many people were injured and killed…..and it was senseless. Insanity is the only explanation I can think of to describe the killer. Did his mother know something? Maybe she did, but I haven’t heard anything except for what she said when they called her. As a mother of a child with a mental disability, I feel her pain. I was judged unfairly all through my daughter’s childhood. Yes my daughter had a problem and I did the best I could to take care of her. I wasn’t in denial or her problems and she paid a consequence for things that she did even though I knew of her disabilities. It really hurt to be judged without people even knowing me. Do I think my daughter could have hurt anybody like this? NO! Maybe this mother knew her son had problems but didn’t think he could do this either. If she did hear or see anything that would make her believe he was capable of this and did not come forward, then she definitely is to blame for at least not sharing info with the police. Just because she said, “you have the right person” doesn’t mean she thought he was capable. That could have been taken out of context ~ like if they asked if this was her son or something. I just hate to be quick to judge. The person to blame is the shooter and anybody that COULD HAVE known something and didn’t share the info.

    I am so sorry that you had to witness a murder like that and had to fear for your own life. You have definitely gone through so much in your life and here you are….still standing just as strong as ever. You are an inspiration!

    I love your advice about always checking out your surroundings and paying attention to exits. I think so many of us think that it won’t happen to us. Who would have thought that going to a movie would end up the way it did? When we went to see Spiderman on Saturday night, I looked at the exits and I will always make sure that door is not ajar. I went to the gym one morning just five minutes after a man had been attacked in the parking lot and robbed at gun point. Before that happened, I never thought I would be robbed so early in the morning at the gym. Now I am alert and pay attention to all cars in the parking lot. If a car is just sitting there with his engine on, I let the front desk know immediately so they can check it out. Last year there was a rape that happened close to our house and the lady lived across the street from me. She barely survived, but she had given the police info on what he looked like. The sketch looked like a guy at the gym so I took the sketch to the front desk and showed it to the guy at the counter. He said, “Oh I know that guy, he is a good kid and wouldn’t do anything like that.” I said, “maybe you’re right, but what if you’re wrong? The police need to be the ones that makes that decision.” So they did check it out and he was cleared. I felt bad but what if it was really him? People don’t always show you who they really are. And if they are the bad guy there is a reason for that.

    Thanks for sharing all of your thoughts in your wonderful blog. We need to learn something from what happened and just support and pray for the victims. I will not focus on the shooter and I think that is important for all of us to do.

    • http://LetLifeHappen.com Barbara Jacoby

      Thank you so much for your wonderful response. I know what a great mom you are and how well your daughter has turned out. She is so fortunate to have gotten you in the big draw in the sky for a mom. I am completely in agreement with you on so many points but I must say that now I am even more troubled with this guy’s mother today. This mother had her attorney contact ABC today to find out whether they had an audio recording of the conversation that the ABC reporter had with her on Friday morning. Once they found out that a recording did not exist, the attorney drafted a totally different spin on the story within the hour. Now I am completely disgusted with her. If she had been misquoted on Friday morning, why didn’t she do something to clear things up until now – after they found out that her remark wasn’t recorded. The attorney won’t comment on the relationship between this guy and his family. The attorney says that of course the parents are standing behind their son as any family would. However, it has been pointed out that the guy has to rely on a public defender while the family has hired their own personal attorney to help them. Why? I must say that something just isn’t right about this family situation though. Apparently the father was in the courtroom today but on the other side of the room and I don’t think the mother was there at all. Oh, well, that is not mine to judge.

      I am so glad to hear about how much care and thought you are taking in being observant of your surroundings. It is truly amazing that once you start doing that, there is so much that happens that you would never have recognized otherwise. And I, too, would much rather have the police check out someone or something and be wrong about it than never say anything about it at all and I guarantee the police and all of your neighbors and family and friends feel the exact same way. Keep up the great work. We all need more people like you in our lives!

      • Mandi

        I hadn’t heard anything else about the parents until you shared it above. If they knew more and didn’t say anything then they are partially to blame. It does sound like something shady is going on with them. I just tend to give the benefit of the doubt until I hear more because I’ve been in a position of unfair judgement before. Thanks for sharing! And thanks for your kind words as well.

        • http://LetLifeHappen.com Barbara Jacoby

          Sure looks like there is more and more to be learned about this person. It is so sad that such a one-time brilliant mind started to think in such a destructive way. What a sad situation for his parents who now, in most likelihood, will have to face being sued by the families of the victims for not doing more. That just reminded me of Joe Paterno who is now being demonized for not doing more about Jerry Sandusky. But that is another whole story that I find to be very sad and unfair.

  • http://twitter.com/whirlydudes/status/227199069804695554/ (@whirlydudes) (@whirlydudes)

    After the Aurora, Co Massacre – Preparation for the Future http://t.co/PCgQqRvD via @letlifehappen

    • http://LetLifeHappen.com Barbara Jacoby

      Thank you so much for sharing the message. I really appreciate it.