Comments on: I Am Done With Whiners http://www.letlifehappen.com/2010/01/10/i-am-done-with-whiners/ Barbara Jacoby - Breast Cancer & Domestic Abuse Survivor trying to inspire. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 04:31:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Barbara Jacoby http://www.letlifehappen.com/2010/01/10/i-am-done-with-whiners/comment-page-1/#comment-790 Barbara Jacoby Sat, 08 May 2010 19:22:09 +0000 http://www.letlifehappen.com/?p=694#comment-790 I know the feeling and I have so enhanced my life by adding more positive people and eliminating those with so much bad energy that it sucks the life out of you. I am glad that you are ready to make changes which will definitely enhance the quality of your relationships. That's big. I know the feeling and I have so enhanced my life by adding more positive people and eliminating those with so much bad energy that it sucks the life out of you. I am glad that you are ready to make changes which will definitely enhance the quality of your relationships. That’s big.

]]> By: A Grateful Reader http://www.letlifehappen.com/2010/01/10/i-am-done-with-whiners/comment-page-1/#comment-789 A Grateful Reader Sat, 08 May 2010 13:28:32 +0000 http://www.letlifehappen.com/?p=694#comment-789 Thank you so much for reminding me. This is exactly what I needed to "hear". What an eye opener! It's definitely time to change some of my priorities. Thank you so much for reminding me. This is exactly what I needed to “hear”. What an eye opener! It’s definitely time to change some of my priorities.

]]> By: Barbara Jacoby http://www.letlifehappen.com/2010/01/10/i-am-done-with-whiners/comment-page-1/#comment-779 Barbara Jacoby Wed, 28 Apr 2010 21:59:23 +0000 http://www.letlifehappen.com/?p=694#comment-779 Of course, you are NOT a whiner. Sharing your feelings like that with a friend is exactly that. A whiner is someone who always goes around complaining and complaining and is never willing to do anything about the situation about which she is complaining. Usually she lives her life as a victim/martyr. Personally, I would have done exactly the same thing as you did. Everyone needs to protect the children and the mother's behavior is just one more reason for keeping your child away from her. You should be very proud of yourself for standing your ground. What anyone else thinks really doesn't matter in the end. Your child is better off for the action that you took and that is all that counts. Of course, you are NOT a whiner. Sharing your feelings like that with a friend is exactly that. A whiner is someone who always goes around complaining and complaining and is never willing to do anything about the situation about which she is complaining. Usually she lives her life as a victim/martyr. Personally, I would have done exactly the same thing as you did. Everyone needs to protect the children and the mother’s behavior is just one more reason for keeping your child away from her. You should be very proud of yourself for standing your ground. What anyone else thinks really doesn’t matter in the end. Your child is better off for the action that you took and that is all that counts.

]]> By: Trudy http://www.letlifehappen.com/2010/01/10/i-am-done-with-whiners/comment-page-1/#comment-778 Trudy Wed, 28 Apr 2010 09:23:40 +0000 http://www.letlifehappen.com/?p=694#comment-778 Hi, Read your article....and am wondering....where does one draw the line between whining and sharing hurt with friends. Recently, I was in a strange situation and had to tell a parent of my daughter´s friend that we didn´t want anything to do with them when the father admitted to occasionally doing drugs. We have also suspected that the mother does drugs. The mother lashed out, swearing....and my daughter heard this. All the more reason to stay away from such people.... But when I wanted to talk about this with another girlfriend....both her and her husband lashed out at me and said that I should learn how to let things go...that the entire thing was MY fault....and blah, blah, blah. What hurt the most was that my husband agreed with them! I was only trying to tell my girlfriend of my feelings...and how bad it felt to be treated that way....but was told indirectly that I was a whiner! Am I a whiner? I have a job (full time), am taking my Masters (full time), raising a child, has a husband who travels a lot, go to therapy... I feel like I work and try hard in a positive way. But maybe I shouldn´t have brought up my feelings with these friends?? I´m confused! Hi,
Read your article….and am wondering….where does one draw the line between whining and sharing hurt with friends.

Recently, I was in a strange situation and had to tell a parent of my daughter´s friend that we didn´t want anything to do with them when the father admitted to occasionally doing drugs. We have also suspected that the mother does drugs. The mother lashed out, swearing….and my daughter heard this. All the more reason to stay away from such people….

But when I wanted to talk about this with another girlfriend….both her and her husband lashed out at me and said that I should learn how to let things go…that the entire thing was MY fault….and blah, blah, blah.

What hurt the most was that my husband agreed with them!

I was only trying to tell my girlfriend of my feelings…and how bad it felt to be treated that way….but was told indirectly that I was a whiner!

Am I a whiner?

I have a job (full time), am taking my Masters (full time), raising a child, has a husband who travels a lot, go to therapy… I feel like I work and try hard in a positive way. But maybe I shouldn´t have brought up my feelings with these friends??

I´m confused!

]]> By: Trudy http://www.letlifehappen.com/2010/01/10/i-am-done-with-whiners/comment-page-1/#comment-777 Trudy Wed, 28 Apr 2010 09:16:58 +0000 http://www.letlifehappen.com/?p=694#comment-777 Hi, I read your article...and I have a question...where does one draw the line Hi,

I read your article…and I have a question…where does one draw the line

]]> By: Barbara Jacoby http://www.letlifehappen.com/2010/01/10/i-am-done-with-whiners/comment-page-1/#comment-617 Barbara Jacoby Thu, 14 Jan 2010 20:19:09 +0000 http://www.letlifehappen.com/?p=694#comment-617 You apparently got smart a lot faster than I did. Thanks so much for your comment. You apparently got smart a lot faster than I did. Thanks so much for your comment.

]]> By: simplistic thoughts http://www.letlifehappen.com/2010/01/10/i-am-done-with-whiners/comment-page-1/#comment-616 simplistic thoughts Thu, 14 Jan 2010 05:00:48 +0000 http://www.letlifehappen.com/?p=694#comment-616 I gave up on whiners a long time ago. A little bit is okay, but only if your next action is to fix the problem and not just do more whining. I gave up on whiners a long time ago. A little bit is okay, but only if your next action is to fix the problem and not just do more whining.

]]> By: Barbara Jacoby http://www.letlifehappen.com/2010/01/10/i-am-done-with-whiners/comment-page-1/#comment-615 Barbara Jacoby Thu, 14 Jan 2010 04:04:29 +0000 http://www.letlifehappen.com/?p=694#comment-615 Hey, Mark, thank you so much for your comments. I like the response, "so what do you plan on doing to fix it". I'll bet that evoked some angry comments back when you used that one. Made me smile just thinking about it. And for the record, I think I'll adopt your saying that "you are where you are because of you". Hopefully, that might make a few people think about what they are doing. Hey, Mark, thank you so much for your comments. I like the response, “so what do you plan on doing to fix it”. I’ll bet that evoked some angry comments back when you used that one. Made me smile just thinking about it. And for the record, I think I’ll adopt your saying that “you are where you are because of you”. Hopefully, that might make a few people think about what they are doing.

]]> By: Mark http://www.letlifehappen.com/2010/01/10/i-am-done-with-whiners/comment-page-1/#comment-614 Mark Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:40:55 +0000 http://www.letlifehappen.com/?p=694#comment-614 great insight! They way i handle whiners: when they complain I say "So what do plan on doing to fix whatever it is you are complaining about. usually as you alluded to, they enjoy the whining more than solving the problem. And when they complain about their job, I say Thank God you have a job when so many people are out of work! And lastly, I have adopted a saying over the years that basically says you are where you are because of you. "you make your bed, you sleep in it. great insight! They way i handle whiners: when they complain I say “So what do plan on doing to fix whatever it is you are complaining about. usually as you alluded to, they enjoy the whining more than solving the problem. And when they complain about their job, I say Thank God you have a job when so many people are out of work! And lastly, I have adopted a saying over the years that basically says you are where you are because of you. “you make your bed, you sleep in it.

]]> By: Barbara Jacoby http://www.letlifehappen.com/2010/01/10/i-am-done-with-whiners/comment-page-1/#comment-612 Barbara Jacoby Tue, 12 Jan 2010 05:47:05 +0000 http://www.letlifehappen.com/?p=694#comment-612 You would never be considered a whiner just because you share what is going on in your life. Everyone has things in their lives with which to deal and there is a huge difference between talking about things, weighing options, assessing possibilities, etc. and bitching, moaning, groaning and complaining all the time about things and then not doing anything to change them. Your example of your husband's friend is a perfect one. And I sure don't think that anyone who loves to wallow in self-pity would ever see a therapist because it is always the other person or people in their lives who need the help, not them. I really appreciate your great contribution here and thanks so much for taking the time to write. You would never be considered a whiner just because you share what is going on in your life. Everyone has things in their lives with which to deal and there is a huge difference between talking about things, weighing options, assessing possibilities, etc. and bitching, moaning, groaning and complaining all the time about things and then not doing anything to change them. Your example of your husband’s friend is a perfect one. And I sure don’t think that anyone who loves to wallow in self-pity would ever see a therapist because it is always the other person or people in their lives who need the help, not them. I really appreciate your great contribution here and thanks so much for taking the time to write.

]]>