More Stars Speak Out on Domestic Abuse
November 8, 2009 by Barbara Jacoby
Filed under Creating Happiness, Domestic Abuse
During the past week, Rihanna did interviews with “Good Morning America” and “20/20” about the abuse that she suffered at the hands of Chris Brown while Mariah Carey admitted that she was abused in her first marriage on the “Larry King Show”. In addition, Chris Brown had his own interview to do for MTV News regarding his being confused about the perceptions that are those of his fans as a result of his beating of Rihanna.
For Rihanna, she felt the need to speak out because she is aware that there are other teenage girls out there who are confused about love and the abuse. She indicated that the girls can’t tell their parents about it because they are ashamed. Her own story as she spoke could have been the story of any other young girl who has suffered the same trauma. It is the story of lots of older women, too. You love this person. He didn’t mean to do it. He is sorry and apologized and says that it will never happen again. But, believe me, if a guy can do it the first time and you stick around, the first time will soon be repeated and the abuse will escalate. Rihanna’s willingness to talk about what happened to her is a very courageous act that will help others, especially the ever growing number of teenage girls who have found themselves in this same position.
Mariah Carey, in her interview on Larry King, was asked what she thought about Rihanna’s speaking out and she got very quiet at which point King inquired whether she had been mentally and verbally abused and she indicated that she had. King asked her why she hadn’t left earlier and she indicated that it wasn’t just their personal relationship that would be affected but her business dealings as well.
And then there is the Chris Brown interview. It is sad that his real concern is about the perceptions of his fans. He is bothered by the names that he has been called and the comments that have been thrown his way. Of course, this interview is tied in with the fact that he has a new album releasing and he is going on tour. But, from a report I saw this morning, he has reason to be concerned about what the fans are thinking as ticket sales have been really poor.
Personally, I am so very grateful each time that someone speaks out about the abuse that he or she has experienced. The more that the problem is recognized and discussed, the sooner the situation will become one that is addressed and handled more openly so that those who are victims will have more places to go and more options to pursue in their leaving. The people that are being abused will not feel so alone and they will understand that there are plenty of other people who are more than willing to help them find a way out. To know that even the most well known people have had some of the same experiences as they have had will help to give them the courage to act on their own behalf. After all, that is what really needs to happen.
How do you feel about people speaking out? Comments
I was disappointed that I missed Rihanna’s interview. I also missed Chris Brown’s and Mariah’s interviews. I’ll have to look them up on you tube or something. I did hear most of what they all said though. I am so proud of Rihanna for speaking out about it. I know it must have been hard. But she was so brave! I think the more that people talk about abuse and share their stories, the more comfortable other people will feel about getting the help they need. Or just to know that they are not alone. That’s huge!! When I was growing up in an abusive home, I didn’t think that anybody else lived the way I lived. I thought I was alone. I believe it was Oprah who started out by sharing stories of abuse on her show. That was when I started to hear that there were others like me. The internet has also been very helpful in my healing. There are many survivor sites out there of all types. And it is important to find others who can share their stories and you can share yours. Thanks for being the kind of person who cares enough to share with others and help others in the process. You are amazing!! THANKS!!
Thank you so very much for sharing your comments here. It is people like you who are helping others out there as well because of your willingness to speak out. It is so very important that we all keep talking and talking and talking about this issue because each time we speak out, we can hope that at least one more person will hear our stories and know that they are not alone as you felt you were. We are all in this together and we can all make a difference. You are really appreciated.
I think that it is the best thing when people talk about it. It helps someone else see what may be happening in there own life. There are still some stories that my parents do not know about what happened in my relationship, that is only because I do not want to hurt my mother. His own mother told me over a phone call that it was a good thing that I left when I did because he has only gotten worse, towards everybody including her. He has been using our children as a tool to get her to do what he wants and it just kills me because this is happening to his own mother. She has been with her abusive husband for over 30 years and is just now seeing what damage it has done to everyone. Abuse hurts everyone not just the two people that were involved. It’s always a good idea to talk about it. I talk to my kids at 6,5,and 3 about it. That is not a good thing to hit, or to talk to each other with disrespect, they do not know that “daddy” hit “mommy” (they were too young to remember) but they know that when you hit, you hurt people, when you yell, you hurt feelings, and when you name call, you hurt feelings. It’s always a good thing to discuss it even with your own children.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and point of view. I couldn’t agree with you more. Your children are so fortunate that they have you for their mother. You not only taught them well about abuse but you also protected them from seeing the abuse that was going on in their own home. You are a most wonderful example for others as I know what courage and strength to get them and yourself away. And you are also right the abuse does escalate. If only his mother would do what is necessary to get him help or locked up before he does any more damage.