Domestic Violence Shelters Closing
September 13, 2009 by Barbara Jacoby
Filed under Creating Happiness, Domestic Abuse
Someone recently shared with me a story regarding the closing of a number of domestic violence shelters in California due to budget cuts. And I was not a bit surprised to learn that services are being scaled back at various other facilities as well. I have attached the link here for easy access to that story:
Calif. violence shelters closing amid budget cuts
Now while I do understand that cuts needed to be made in order to balance the budget, I cannot imagine the justification for cutting programs that are there to provide protection for women and children in crisis. For anyone who knows about domestic abuse, to force women and children to stay in homes where they are constantly in danger of being harmed and ultimately killed cannot be acceptable to anyone in this day and age. Many of these women are impoverished and as such, do not have the means to just leave and start a new life. And most are threatened with the promise that they will be hunted down and killed if they leave or that they will be found and brought back home and then they will really be punished by their abuser.
Even before these current closings, I had been contacted by women who wanted to leave but didn’t know what to do and they asked if I had any ideas or suggestions to help them. When I referred them to the National Abuse Hotline for help, I found that they had already reached out to that resource and help was not available. In small towns, there were no facilities and in big cities, the facilities were full and there was a very long waiting list. When I suggested that they contact the police for help when they are or had been beaten, they unanimously replied that the police did not want to get involved. For those who had gone the legal route, when their abusers were released from jail, their lives became a whole new nightmare.
The other really sad part of these stories is the children who live in abusive situations. Many mothers do everything possible to protect their children but are no match against their abusers. And while most abusers are men, there are also women who are abusers as well to the men in their lives and/or their own children.
I believe that it is time for all of us to act to find ways of financing the domestic abuse centers that battered women and children so desperately need. We need to protect the civil rights of the abused just as we would protect any other citizen who had been physically attacked by someone else. We need to be able to successfully remove and protect the women and children who do not wish to remain in the abusive situations in which they find themselves. There is nothing in this world of more value than a life and the time has come to demand the resources to protect and defend the lives of the abused men, women and children in this country.
I would love your comments.
This is really sad I was just thinking about starting a not for profit organization for abuse victims. I live in California. Something has to be done to help the victims. I know God is able.
You help in creating such an organization would be appreciated so much more than you would ever know. If you are willing to do such a thing, please know that you have the love and support and prayers from tons of people out here who would be willing to help in any way possible. I hope that you give it really serious consideration. It is really needed. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here.
As a woman who suffered through years of physical abuse, I find this extremely sad. Women so often feel they don’t have any place to go and would wind up on the streets if they did the only logical thing which is leave. However, anyone who’s endured an abusive relationship knows doing the right thing is often easier said than done.
Your comments express something that I have been trying to say for so long. Thank you so very much.
Good article on the cuts in programs for women and children. i’m from Massachusetts and in recovery program for abuse at my church-these things and housing are so needed! I wrote a book, TWO WEEKS SINCE MY LAST CONFESSION-it deals with sexual abuse but also physical abuse in one of the characters. I did alot of research for the book on these topics and it is amzing how much abuse is happening STILL and how much has been going on through the years.
Kate
Thank you so much for posting your comments. I am so happy that you are in a recovery program and that you are sharing your experience with abuse through your book so that others know that they are not alone. Much success to you both personally and professionally in the future.
It is heart breaking to hear of these stories. But there is hope you can walk into just about any church and explain what is happening to you. I have been going to my church for 6 years now and they will help anyone that just walks up and asks for help. There is more out there I know of at least four other ones that are in my city alone that help with things like this. Don’t feel guilty for asking for help from other people as well, I once let a woman I did not know to stay in my home as a hiding place, there is people like me that are survivors of abuse that are willing to help by any means necessary. Believe me I know what it is like to live in fear, the fear of being killed, or your children being harmed, but you also have to understand that if you let you abuser to continue to believe that you are scared of them they feed on it, they love it, because they know that you are still there’s. Don’t let them do that to you, you can still get out even without the help of the cops or the shelters. I did I know others can too
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and the idea of going to a local church for help. Your posting of that information has already helped at least one wonam with several children and an unborn child to seek out this alternative in her escape from her abuser. I am sure that it will help many more and for that I am so very grateful. You have certainly made a difference.
i agree with u on the subject me being a victim for many years of domestic violence and just this past Friday i was beat up once again while im pregnant by my baby’s dad !! i finally got the courage to press charges but now im scared cus i have no where to go !! me or my kids !! we are still here in the house i shared with my ex for a few more days til they kick us out but we have no where to go after that and im so scared right now cus the cops let him get out already after one day of being in jail and im afraid he is going to come back home and kill me or hurt me cus i pressed charges on him and he want me to loss our baby his baby that im pregnant with just so he doesnt have to pay childsupport which i dont understand cus he is the one that forced me to get pregnant for the second time already !! but any how i just really want everyone to realize shelters are important especially to gurls like me cus we have no where to turn and thats how we wind up dead by our abusers !!! and also with the cops not wanted to get involved it makes it worse for us !!!! thanks much love Terica !!!!!!!! we need help please everyone this is real and happens all the time !!
this part is briliant : “We need to protect the civil rights of the abused just as we would protect any other citizen who had been physically attacked by someone else. ” Ppl are brainwashed to blame the victims, b/c that helps to derail attention AWAY from thinking about CIVIL RIGHTS — both adults’ and children’s civil rights, as though only certain ppl ‘deserved’ to be helped…It bothers me to think that police is more interested in chasing pot-heads than protecting women and children from violence…*** I agree with the article … (I am a survivor myself, did not qualify for the shelter b/c my older sons were over 12 years old! some shelters accept boys under 6 years of age only!)
It is a travesty that they would jeopardize children and women safety due to the economy. I myself was embarrassed my household was so dysfunctional. It took everything in me to leave and provide my children a safe haven, with in a few months he had demolished our home as he wasnt going to give me anything and then put himself in the garage committing suicide. So I could have gone down with him and he could have taken us all. Wake up and see the need as I spent a few weeks in hiding due to this
You should be so very proud of yourself for getting yourself and your children out of that household. I know what you mean about being embarrassed and not wanting to tell others about it. Thank heavens you left before you and the children were destroyed before he committed suicide. What a sad, sad situation that he was in such an awful space that he could take his own life without any consideration about the impact that it would have on his children. But that is a whole different story as I know a family who has gone through a similar situation and I know what it has done to everyone.
Terrible….You rely on friends and family and they refuse you help, and those shelters are the last escape you can take…
And there are so many that do not even have family and friends to help and nowhere to turn. It is so sad that we don’t take care of our own.
The hardest thing for an abused person to do is to ask for help. Or for them to even tell another person that the abuse is happening. I can’t imagine reaching out to ask for help, only to be told that something else was more important in the budget than to help victims become survivors. It is an outrage that they are closing the shelters that could possibly save lives. Obviously the people that are making budget cuts, have never been touched by abuse in their lives. Sometimes it doesn’t matter as much to people unless it happens to them. That of course is not always the case. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. If I knew what to do, I would do everything in my power to make them understand the importance of these shelters and programs.
Below is a paragraph on statistics that I found. But that number is probably much greater now. The study was done in 1998. Shocking!
The U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics, in its study Intimate Partner Violence, calculated that about 876,000 women had been the victims of violent crimes by a current or former spouse or boyfriend in 1998, the latest year for which statistics were available. More than 1,300 of the women were murdered.
This is the site where I got the above info ~ http://www.npr.org/news/specials/housingfirst/whoneeds/abuse.html#sidebar
Thank you so much for the additional information and for pointing out that it takes a lot for most abused people to even ask for help or to not be too ashamed to admit to the abuse. I sure am looking to anyone who can help to find a way for those of us who want to make a difference to find the way to do so. I can’t tell you how it hangs in the atmosphere around me when someone comes to me for help and there is nothing I can do to even direct them to someone who can make a difference for them. It really hurts.
Oh, my. How sad that in this time of economic crisis, that abused people must stay in their situations because the safety of the shelter is not there any longer… I pray that no lives are lost because now the abuser has no leverage. I am pointing this blog out, thank you.
Thank you so much for your comments and for sharing my blog. As I indicated to Dannielle, I sure would be open to any ideas that others may have that would allow us to make a difference when we do not have the financial support. There must be another way.
This is a very sad occurrence. I hate to see things like this happen because so many are and will suffer because of it. Over here in Washington state, in my city, they have one shelter, and it is open only part time, because of greedy people stealing money and misappropriating funds. They are now sweeping domestic violence under the rug, and it’s growing as a silent killer. I want to continue my work as an advocate, but because of this situation, I can’t and am stifled within my passion to help these women and children who are in need of a safe escape. There is so much that needs to be done, and it is unfortunate how things like budget cuts, or in my cities case, greedy comes in the way of it.
I really understand exactly what you are saying and if you or anyone else has any ideas of how we can make a difference when we don’t have the money, I sure would be open to any and all suggestions. Thank you so much for your comments.