When that mother left, she never had to send her child to a supervised or alone visit with her former husband again.

However, if the abuser is an American man, he will most likely be given supervised visits which can become unsupervised if he is on good behavior. And we all know that abusers (research psychopaths in Wiki to help classify his style) can usually “behave” themselves for as long as it takes to get what they want – even years to land a women who has the looks or assets or package that he desires. Only letting the abuse leak out after marriage or the birth of a child – research shows many woman experience the first serious assault while pregnant. Basically in vernacular – after “he has her tied down with his kids.”

Abusers are great con artists, many are psychopaths, who actually have completely shut off remorse. When they show sorry or feelings, they are doing it to manipulate and mimic a “normal” response to keep the victims in place. Victims and even counselors who don’t have ample experience and research into domestic violence and psychopaths will try to address the abuser as if he had a conscious that is working, when in fact he does not. However, the abuser will learn “right responses” that lack sincerity.

If your abuser is a psychopath, narcissism to the last level, then this abuser is likely to kill the victim and the children if they try to leave or even after they leave when it appears that this are “okay.”

Injunctions do not protect children and women because a family can be shot, killed, stabbed, or beaten to death before 911 is called or the police arrive. And this is the reason many victims stay – contrary to popular opinion and false research stating that they victims like the abuse, feel they deserve it, or can’t get out.

Though it is true that some victims cannot get out. Abusers tend to pick a profile of their victim. Some abusers look for victims who are very kind, caring, and have been abused before who make little income and have little family. While other abusers look for women in the public eye who might “hide” the abuse to preserve reputation. Yet still other abusers look for women who have more assets so that they may use her assets and then throw her to the curb. And still other abusers will seek victims out with many children who are religious and “see the good” so they can victimize the children.

Research is starting to show that “good” people cannot imagine being evil or hateful to the extent of an abuser. So when an abuser, for instance, touches a child inappropriately and the child says something. The abuser will claim “it was an accident” and all the normal non-abusers in the room will believe the abuser because they could not imagine someone molesting their child in front of them.

As a survivor of different kinds of abuse, I have been looking for the perfect place to volunteer. There is a women’s shelter that I’m interested in. And I’m also interested in CASA ~ child appointed advocates for court. My therapist doesn’t think I’m quite ready to dive in just yet. So for now I can only donate to the shelter and support people on my survivor sites. I am helping an abused male friend. HIs wife battered him verbally and physically for 9 years. And she’s still trying. For men it’s even harder to prove that they were abused. So it’s been a long battle. Just talking about this subject and sharing your story can help somebody else. Thanks so much for talking about this in your blog. It’s a very important topic that needs attention to help other victims.

Many blessings ~
Mandi