What Do You Want?
July 12, 2009 by Barbara Jacoby
Filed under Creating Happiness
I have spent the last couple of days reflecting upon my life and one question has come to my mind – if I could have any ONE thing to come into my life at this moment, what would it be?
However, I have decided that I would like to make this week’s blog about YOU! I would really appreciate it if you would take a moment and go to the link below and tell me the single most important thing that you would want in your life at this moment if you could have anything.
Please feel free to make your response as long or as short as you would like and then come back to this site throughout the week as everyone shares their wishes. Then next week, I will share with you the one thing that I have already determined that I would really like in my life now. I think that this will truly be a very wonderful experience.
Thank you so very much for sharing!
To Bo and Dawn you are not alone I have had PTSD for 5 years now and depression most of my life if you need a friend or just an ear feel free to write to me at Mariapeaceangel@yahoo.com it always helps to feel that your not alone. But as far as what I want it’s happiness I’m so tired of being stressed and unhappy in my life situations if it were not for my son who is almost 10 months old I really don’t know if I would still be sane. He is the only thing in my life that makes me happy but I want to be completely happy in all aspects of my life more so my marriage and living situation than anything.
Peace
if i could have anything to wish for it would be to have the memories and flashbacks of the abuse i dealt with growing up to go away.. not only with the memories of abuse that happened to me, but also with my brother and sister and mostly the abuse my father done to my mom.. i want to stop remembering the fear and pain we had to go through… the fear we went through having a gun pointed at us as he kept us awake all night making us set on the couch without moving or saying a word… i want all of that to go away.. i am the type of person that has always kept all of this bottled up inside of me, noone to talk to about it.. im sorry for the details, but i have to get some of this off of my chest.. me and my family has been away from him for 3 years now, he has finally left us alone.. even though things are going good now.. the pain is still there.. i know the pain will always be there, but i just wish it would go away.. he has caused so much hatred toward him, and i shouldnt hate my father.. i know its wrong, but i cant help from it.. i just wish i could erase all of that from my thoughts.
I would like Rick to not be depressed and to love me. I am very sad now, too.
I would like no responsibilities!
I would really love to meet my birth mother – at 43 years old – its time for me to meet her, her family, and possibly my birth farther – she didn’t necessarily wished to give me up for adoption – as I have proof of this, but I was and she did at the very least help select a wonderful family -
but to look into her eyes, to have the first hug – knowing she is my blood relative – I would have found my home – Terrie Walsh where are you….
The one thing I would have in my life would be peace of mind. I don’t know how I could achieve this since it is compromised of so many other things but that would be the one thing I would want.
sad to say, everything i want boils down to money. something i’ve never enough of, let alone any extra.
i want enough money to not worry about if i can pay my bills. i want the money to pay off my best friend’s student loans, buy him a house and help him set up his business. i want the money to buy my mom a better house, somewhere she loves. i want the money to buy myself a better camera, (and some classes!) so i can do the artwork i’m meant to do. i want the money to print and frame the three shows’ worth of material i already have. i want the money to actually pay the people who are so good as to model for me. i want the money to open an art gallery for emerging (aka starving) artists. i want the money to set up grants for these same artists, so they can continue to make art. i want the money to buy a small house for myself, with a big yard, so i can grow my own vegetables. i want the money to occasionally go on a trip to somewhere warm and beautiful.
i want to never have to worry about money again. the lack thereof has always held me back, held me down.
I want to stop crying every day. I want my PTSD to vanish without a trace, never to be seen again. I want my daughter to find a way to love me. I want to be able to find a way to love my daughter even though she has created a situation that may be beyond repair. I want to get a job instead of collecting unemployment benefits. I want a significant other, although the odds of that are slim as I have not had one date in almost 10 years. I want friends IRL instead of having just online friends. When I’m offline, my friends are gone. I want my phone to ring and someone ask “hey, wanna go catch a movie?” I want my luck to change for the better instead of constantly being thrown nothing but garbage since as far back as I can remember. I have never really known true happiness, with the exception of the day that my daughter was born. That was the only time I was really truly happy. Most of the time my happiness is fake for the sake of not being asked what’s wrong, so I guess I also want to be really, truly happy. I want my siblings and father to think about me for a change instead of forgetting that I exist. I want to be able to go out of the house and not keep my head down so as not to make contact with others. I want my mother back but that won’t happen because you can’t bring back the dead. I want someone to tell me they love me – and mean it. I haven’t ever been told that in sincerety. I want to find who I am because I never was able to find the true me. I want to be able to pick up a pencil and draw again.
I Have To Say This Is The Hardest Question to Answer And I Have To Say What Do I Want is To Get This Divorce Finish, Find a Job to Where I Can Get Out Of The House and Start Saving Up The Money To Get a Place of My Own, and Go Back To School.
The thing that has been most important in my life is peace of mind. What I would like most right now is to find a way to be of most use in helping people and the world. I have prayed to get the answer of what my purpose in life is. So right now I wish I knew the answer.
time and space for me, without responsibility… without the mundane burdens of life. just time and space to figure out what it is that i want. to figure out in which direction i need to turn.
I want someone to hire me who values what I have to offer. If you remove the financial aspect of being unemployed, you’re left with the way it makes you feel, to have something that you feel no one wants. I’ve worked so hard to get the education, experience, and skills to become attractive to employers. I have a solid resume, rock the interviews, and leave them feeling great about myself. I get letter after letter that someone else has been chosen. I do believe there are wonderful, deserving people out there getting those jobs. I just want a shot at getting back into the social world where I can offer a smile and help people. I miss it so. I’d like to be able to pay my bills, also, and not have my husband feel like he’s doing this by himself.
I want my brother back. He committed suicide a little over a year ago, and I can’t seem to get it together since. I’ve lost 2 jobs, a boyfriend, and a home since he passed. I know if he was here to keep me grounded (like he always did), these things would not be happening.
I’d also like to have my boyfriend back. “The most painful goodbyes are those that were never said or explained.” They both left me without saying goodbye or why!! It’s consuming me. Gotta let it go. So maybe the one thing I want is to learn to let them go…..either way
Very hard question for sure! If I’m being selfish, which is unlike me, I would have to say that I want……..
To be free of flashbacks, body memories and the feeling that they may never go away. I feel haunted by so many things. Try as I might ~ the things in my head won’t go away. I struggle all day, everyday. If the flashbacks weren’t so strong, I wouldn’t even have to go there in my head at all. I could push it all away and just be happy. I guess it’s all part of working through everything. So I go on. And the happy mask remains so that I can be strong throughout the day when I have to be.
I have this wonderful workbook called “How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything.” It asks lots of questions to find out what makes you do things the way you do. One of the questions is similar to this one. “If you could have one present, and money was no object, what would it be?”
My answer to that question is ~ I want a horse. I’ve always wanted a horse. It’s just never been practical to have one. When I was little we were too poor. And now that I’m older, it’s never been about me and what I want. I put my family first. We have a place to keep a horse ~ but it’s 2 hrs away. I’m still dreaming though. And I may be 50 years old before I get a horse. But I’m not giving up my dream. I want to adopt a rescued horse that needs lots of love. I don’t even have to ride it. Just take care of it. That’s my one THING. Thanks for making us think Barbara! Can’t wait to see your answer!
What I wanted in my life at 18 was to be able to move out because my Dad was too strict,I knew doing so would make me happy.
What I wanted in my life when I was 20 was to be beautiful on the outside…after all physical appearance was evertything.
What I wanted at 22 was to get to know my Dad better…so I spent 10 days with him in Puerto Rico..itwas life changing.
What I wanted in my life when I was 30 was to finally find someone and be married and live the “Happily Ever After”.
What I wanted at 37 was to have a child before it was too late to become a mother.When I had my son at 38 I felt scared,but reborn.
What I wanted in my life at 40 was to get to know “me” better.
What I wanted in my life at 45 was a greater understanding about my purpose in Life.
What I wanted at 50..was to try to figure out how it came to be that in my many years upon this earth it took so long to figure out that true happiness does not consist of Beauty..wealth or material possesions.
What I have at 57 years,2 months and 1 week is a family that I treasure more with each passing day…Friendships that have stood the test of time…and a faith in God..that though shaken at many times..has remained.
“When you have come to the edge Of all light that you know And are about to drop off into the darkness Of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly” Park Overton*
The only thing I could want in life right now is to make sure I’m being successful passing laws to help protect abused children. With little income and such, it’s getting difficult.
I have a beautiful little boy, a generous boyfriend, and a sincere friend in my house right now, and I really can’t ask for any better than that.
Money is tight, but we’re eking by with basics. I just want my cause to do well.
There are many things that I want, but the main thing that I want in my life is freedom. From many things.
when I think about it , that is about the single hardest question I can think of. I lead a fairly modest life but it includes so many family and riends I feel rich. I guess if i could have anything it would to be pain free. I want the usual for my family, health and happiness but the question really wasn’t about them. like I stated above this seriously a hard question for me, I really can not think of much that I want or need for myself.
Donna
Dear Bo
I came across your response to “What Do I Want” as I myself wasn’t sure really myself what I really wanted ,I thought I would look at some other peoples responses to see what other people wanted and yours really got to me. I related to a lot of the same things you said you wanted.I don’t have a relationship with my daughter. S he blames me for a lot of things. I guess she doesn’t understand that I did the best I could and I raised her all by myself without any help from anyone even family didn’t help. So I to wish my daughter would find a way to love me. And as far as the ptsd same here..tired of the anxiety and depression that has ruled my life for as long as I can remember.
Friends I would like as well. Seems that I have bad luck with picking the wrong friends and boyfriends. They never really are who they say. I have felt very used by people in a lot of ways.I would like someone to really care. I have felt alone all my life . I was happy when my daughter was born as well. I am not sure exactly what happened to her . S he is not the girl I remember.
And I to am sooo tired of crying everyday.
I was just talking to god right before I read your response and I asked for some good times to come my way. I don’t know how to change my life ..I would if I knew.
Thank you for sharing your wishes. I do wish that they will come true for you.
Dawn
Peace in my family and relationships built again between my daughter and me and my son and me and my boyfriend and me and his daughter and me. My mother on my side. The depression to go away and not come back. My health to be strong again. To gain my weight back! Money, we all need money to make things easier. Not to struggle everyday to make bills or have food to eat. I want to stop crying everyday and laugh instead and make the best memories.
Have real love from the ones I love and them accept me as I am. Perfect or imperfect!
Someone to always lean on and know they will always stand by my side in good times and bad times.
I pray for all these things!