I Fired My Friend
May 17, 2009 by Barbara Jacoby
Filed under Creating Happiness
That’s correct! After a 5-year friendship, I received a call from someone who was planning to be in the area for the next few days and wanted to get together. I told her that I was not interested in doing so and after a brief discussion I wished her all the best for her future, told her that I had nothing more to say and that I was hanging up. And that is what I did. I knew that it was the right thing to do but I had surprised myself in actually doing so. And when I talked to Kirk about it, he reminded me that I had done this once before – almost 12 years ago. Wow, now I really had to figure this out.
I have known for some time that this friend only contacted me when she wanted something. I felt sorry for her as she seemed to go from one big problem to another. I tried to help her in any way that I could and soon realized that although she would come to me to find answers she continued the same old patterns. That was fine with me until I started to resent her taking my time, my efforts and a whole lot more and wasting it. When she chose to move out of state almost a year ago, I felt that my problem had been solved.
So when she called me out of the clear, blue sky, I just answered her truthfully and sent her on her way. And then I started to feel a bit guilty because I knew that she didn’t understand what had happened even though I did explain to her the reason behind my choice. I kept thinking about it and thinking about it and then decided that there was something that I had not learned when I had released another friend in the past.
I have since come to the realization that I had the answer inside if I would just stop and listen. Why in heaven’s name would I want to have a relationship let alone a friendship with a person from whom I do not want to hear? And why should I feel badly about letting go of someone whose treatment of me is not acceptable to me? Why should I put someone else’s feelings ahead of my own? This is not a difficult decision. If I don’t want to spend time or interact with someone else who would fall into the “friend” category, then just don’t do it.
I believe that everyone who comes into our lives is there for a reason and that sometimes a person is there only long enough to teach us a lesson. Had I learned that 12 years ago when I fired a friend, I would not have needed to repeat the same lesson. But, I guarantee that I have learned this time and now I can move on to something else knowing full well that my “friend” has also had an opportunity to learn something about her friendships. I hope that it works for her too, so that she does not have to repeat the same lesson.
In the meantime, I have made plans with some of my real friends with whom I really enjoy spending my time and I am so very grateful to have them in my life. And I will always spend the biggest moments in my life with my very best friend, my wonderful husband, Kirk! And that is exactly what works for me and I know deep down inside is exactly what is right for me.
I would love your comments.
Smiling as I read this! There is definitely a lot I can learn from you for sure! I have/had the same kind of friend in my life. More than one actually. They just suck the air out of my lungs and leave me breathless. I figured out WHY I let them in and stay for so long. But how to get rid of them is the question. WHY? Why would I let somebody use me and treat me like this? Because I am the eternal people pleaser. I want to make everybody happy ~ even at the risk of hurting myself in the process. And heaven forbid I hurt their feelings and tell them how I really feel. It’s all about them. They don’t seem to mind that they know very little about me because they talked about themselves the whole time. With this particular friend that I am still in contact with, I was even calling her to get together so she could complain about her life. What was I thinking? For reasons unknown to me, she told a mutual friend of mine that she thought I was too clingy. ME?!!!! Not even. I am just the person that gets all of my friends together. But I rarely got a word in with this friend at all. So how did she see me as being clingy? I still don’t get it. Our mutual friend said she didn’t agree with her. So I started backing off and not calling her at all. She has called me once or twice in the 6 months that I didn’t call her. And I see her at the gym sometimes and chat for a minute. But she comes to me. I don’t seek her out. She just asked me to dinner this Thursday. I am not sure I could “fire” my friend. But I can decide if and when I’m going to spend time with her. I think for me, it’s really about not wanting to rock the boat with anybody in it. I want everybody to like me. I will go to great lengths for that to happen. So firing my friend would cause her to NOT LIKE ME ANYMORE!!! And you know what? I could probably live with that after I got over the guilt. Thanks for sharing your friend struggle. I relate!
i love this as i have fired many friends since my diagnoses.
in the past I had thought that it was friends i needed .
Now i know that i need my son and love all around. no negativity..just positive vibes.
Yeah, I agree. If you truly consider yourself a “friend” then you should always do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do- what will make you the happiest. As they say, if you love something, set it free. If it returns, it was truly yours…I’m sure you get the idea.
I feel exactly the same way. I had people who I trusted and confided in, and they consistently tried to push me in certain directions- INCLUDING directions that they, themselves were UNWILLING to go. THEY were single moms, and so was I.
Suffice it to say, we have gone our separate ways.
If you can’t walk the walk, then you should never talk the talk.
No “Draining” necessary.
I’m sure that those who judge others are continuously walking on water!!!
By NOT gossiping. ??? No…that won’t happen!
Good for you. I certainly can relate because I had a friend who would just drain the hell out of me then I stopped letting her. I love reading your blogs
HELLO AMIGA
LA VERDAD DE TENER UNA AMIGA DE VERDAD REAL SINCERA..NO LO SE SI EXISTE… YO TUBE UNA Y ME FALLO..PENSE QUE LO ERA..CREI EN ELLA Y CONFIE EN ELLA
Y LO QUE ERA EN REALIDAD ERA UN DEMONIO DE MUJER..QUE TRAJE A MI HOGAR..PENSANDO QUE ERA BUENA Y NO..TODO LO CONTRARIO.QUE VINO A MI CASA
COMIENDO CON LOS OJOS Y TRATAR DE QUITARME TODO Y MI VIDA Y ESPOZO..DESTRUYENDO TODO EN UN SEGUNDO..MIENTRAS YO CONFIABA EN ELLA
Y ESTABA CIEGA ..CIEGA
Y A MIS ESPALDAS..LA MENTIRA TRAICION.. CLAVANDOME UN PUNAL POR LA ESPALDA
SIN IMPORTARLES MI DOLOR Y MI ANGUSTIA.. Y QUE TRATO CON MAGIA NEGRA DESTRUIRME HACERME DANO..NO PUDO CONMIGO
LE SALIO MAL…PERO DESTRUYO LA FE QUE YO TENIA EN MI MARIDO..TODO SE FUE..CON SU LLEGADA A MI CASA..Y ESO ME PASA…POR CONFIAR EN LA GENTE..DECIR SI CREO EN LA AMISTAD…NO LO SE… TUBE EXPERIENCIA MUY MALA CON ELLA. UNA BASURA FUE.. Y ESO ES NO SER AMIGA..PERO QUE PENSE QUE ME DARIA SU APOYO .EN LAS TERAPIAS AL MEDICO Y OTRAS COSAS Y SU INTENCION ERA OTRA…QUE SE PUEDE ESPERAR..SI DAS EL CORAZON A UNA AMISTAD Y SE QUISO QUEDAR…CN LO QUE ERA MI VIDA…MI HOGAR..PERO DIOS ES JUSTO Y CASTIGA
DIOS ESPODEROZO Y MI DECEO ES QUE ELLA
SUFRA TANTO O MAS QUE YO Y QUE LE HAGAN LO MISMO QUE ELLA ME HISO A MI..QUE SUFRA..POR QUE NO SE MERECE OTRA COSA..QUE ESO
DESLEALTAD A UNA AMIGA QUE LE OFRECIO TODA SU CONFIANZA
SOLO DEPRECIO
PARA MIS AMIGAS HERMANAS POR EL MISMO DOLOR…QUE ES… DE CUANDO NOS ATACA EL CANCER
SEAN FUERTES
LUCHEN..NO CUELGUEN LOS GUANTES ..PIENSEN QUE LA VIDA ES LINDA .SIGAN LAS INSTRUCIONES DEL DOCTOR AUNQUE SON MUY FUERTES.. NO SE DESANIMEN..LUCHE
Y SI EN ALGO PUEDO YO TESTIFICAR FUE QUE YO HICE MI TERAPIA ASI
COMIENDO MUCHO
TRATANDO DE RETENER TODA LA COMIDA A PESAR DE QUE QUERIA SALIR CORRIENDO A VOMITAR..
NO LO HAGAN
TRATEN DE RETENER TODO EN SU ESTOMAGO…ASI ESO LAS AYUDA APONERSE FUERTE CUANDO NOS DAN ESA MEDICINA …QUE ES VENENO…PERO MATA EL CANCER.. Y SI NO SE PONEN FUERTES EL CANCER GANA..LA BATALLA..POR QUE NO SUPIERON PONERSE FUERTE Y DEVIL ES..CUANDO MAS FUERTE SE PONE EL CANCER…POR ESO
EN LAS TERAPIAS COMAN DULCES///PARA QUITAR ESE FEO SABOR DE LA BOCA..ESCUCHEN MUCHA M,USICA
CUANDO SE SIENTAN QUE DECAEN ANIMENSEN AUNQUE NO TENGAN GANAS
CIERREN LOS OJOS Y DEJENSEN LLEBAR POR LA MELODIA
Y LO MEJOR ES
COMER COMIDAS RICAS
POR ESO TRAJE A MI MAMA
SE QUEDO CONMIGO UN ANO
YESO ME AYUDO MUCHO
SUS RICAS COMIDAS
MIENTRAS YO DECIA
NO PUEDO MASSSS..TENGO QUE BOMITAR Y NO LO HACIA CERRABA LA BOCA FUERTE Y TRAGABA Y TRAGABA LOS BOMITOS SIN LEBANTARME Y AGUANTANDO MI ESTOMAGO DEL DOLOR
Y ASI DIA A TRAS DIA
YO NOTE
QUE ME PONIA MAS FUERTE Y EL COLOR REGRESABA A MI ROSTRO
ME SENTIA MAS FUERTE..Y ME DIJE
ESO ME ESTA AYUDANDO A CONTROLAR LOS EFECTOS DE LA MEDICINA
Y POCO A POCO..CON TODA MI FE PUESTA AHI
LUCHE..LUCHEEE A MAS NO DAR
Y CREO QUE LE GANE…….. AL MALDITO CANCER
A TODAS ELLA HERMANAS…QUE SOMOS UNAS CAMPEONAS
NO BAJEN LOS BRAZOS
PIENSEN LO BONITO DE LA VIDA..QUE TIENEN POR QUIEN LUCHAR
FAMILIA HIJOS NIETOS.
PONGAN EN SU MENTE TODAS LAS CLAVES DE LA VIDA
QUE ESO AYUDA Y MUCHO
A MI ME AYUDO Y PUEDO ASEGURARLO
ESTA ES MI HISTORIA SIN FINAL FELIZ
PERO ESTOY VIVA VIVAAAAAAAAAA
SOBREVIVI AL CANCER
Y CON MUCHA FE PUESTA
LO QUE HISO ESA MUJER
YA NO ME AFECTA NI ME DUELE
ME DEDICO A HACER VIDEOS DONDE M,E RELAJO Y ESCRIBO TODO LO QUE SIENTO
HUNM BUENA TERAPIA TAMBIEN
DONDE ESPRESO TODO LO QUE ME PASO
TODO EL DOLOR DE UN ENGANO
LO QUE SUFRI
Y ASI ..VOY PARA ADELANTE SIN MIRAR ATRAS
PARA MUJERES ENGANADAS HAJAJA..
PERO ME GUSTA
SOY SOBREVIVIENTE DE CANCER
Y YA VOY POR LOS 5 ANOS Y 4 MESES..YEAHHH…
LES DOY TODA MIS BENDICIONES A MIS HERMANAS CAMPEONAS
SIGAN ADELANTE
FUERTES Y LINDAS
SI PIERDEN EL PELO
NO IMPORTA
REGRESA MAS LINDO
Y CON RULOS
HAJAJAJAJA
Y RECUERDEN SOMOS HERMOSAS SIN PELO TAMBIEN
SE ME CUIDAN LAS QUE ESTAN ENFERMITAS
Y SI PUEDEN HAGAN MI TEPIA TAMBIEN LASAYUDARA A PASAR EL MAL MOMENTO
UN BESO
JIMMY
TRADUSCO ESTO EN INGLES
PERO NO ESTA PERFECTO
PERO SE PUEDE ENTENDER
JUANA ORTIZ
AMIGA
TENER UNA AMIGA…HUNM !! NO LO SE
TO HAVE AN TRUE FRIEND REALLY IS IMPORTANT
I HAD ONE
I SINK THAT WAS AN FRIEND REALLY AND IT WAS NOT THUS…
WAS A DEMON WHO CAME IN MEY HOME TO DESTROY
IN A SECOND MY LIFE. .EN THE MOMENT WHEN I MIND THE HELP YOU SOPORT.. HIS SUPPORT !!
AND WHAT!!!
WAS EAT WITH THE EYES
AND TO CLEAR TO ME… WHAT I TAPEWORM MY LIFE MY HOME LIER .Y DOING THINGS I AM SURVIVING OF CANCER I ALREADY HAVE BEEN TO 5 ANUSES AND 4 MONTHS YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHH !!!
ADVANCED WINS BATTLE TO HIM. .NO LETS TAKE TO ME BY… THE GLOVES I GARE .. DOES FIGHT.. WHAT STORY I HAPPEN TO ME HERE WITH HER…. MY AMIGA… MY FRIEND… HUNMM…!!!
THE ONE THAT CREI FRIEND ,TAKE ADVANTAGE THE SIUACION MAKES THREE ANUSES. . I BROUGHT TO MY HOME .HERE
THE MITING HER… IN THAT THEN MY HUSBAND .WAS WONDERFUL WITH ME.
FIRST ANUSES OF CANCER THERAPY QUIMO EVERYTHING… LOVED MUCH MY HOSPEND AND NEVER SINKC.. THAT COULD FAIL TO ME THAT WOMAN COULD NOT EVEN THOUGH WITH ME…
THAT HI USE BLACK MAGIC TO DESTROY ME…
COULD NOT WITH ME ..BUT.. WHAT PROFIT WAS THAT LOST ALL THE FAITH THAT I TAPEWORM. .EN MY HOSPEND THAT FIREND. HISO THINGS AND IS LONG TO COUNT…
BUT BOTH THEY DECEIVED TO ME AND BLIND I… BLIND SO THAT BEIEVE IN HER.
AND THEY DID NOT RESPECT MY PAIN. AND TO BACKS THEY NAILED THE DAGGER TO ME. .
A PESAR DE WHAT CANCER WAS LIVING… BUT THE COMBATI THUS MY THERAPY WAS. . SUCKS. .
I HELP MUCH MY DAUGHTER. BY SHORT TIME SINCE BY MY NIETITOS. SHE COULD NOT BE MORE TIME… WINE OF GERMANY
MY MATHER OF ARGENTINA.. THOSE MOMENTS WERE HORRIBLE OF HORRIBLE THERAPIES
AND MY THERAPY WAS IT WAS… TO EAT TO EAT… NOT TO LET TO ME DECAY BY THE EFFECTS OF THE MEDICINE.. AND RETAIN EVERYTHING WHAT I ITT. WITHOUT THROWING IT TO THE TOILET ….. TO VOMIT…
AT THE MOMENTS OF DEPRECION IT LISTENED. .MUCHA MUSIC MUSIC…
SIII SWEET THINGS,
TO SWEETEN MOUTH
AND THAT VENENO.QUE US PONIAN TO FIGHT CANCER. .
YO PERDI ALL MY HAIR …MY NEALS BLACK . .MI BEAUTIFUL HAIR, THAT WAS UNTIL MAS UNDERNEATH HIPS LARGUISIMO… I DO NOT REMAIN NOTHING BUT SALI ADVANCED. IT DOES NOT LET TO ME WIN…TO
IF I WENT MITT TO THAT WOMAN… WHO CAME HOME. AND HISO WHICH HISO AFTER THREE ANUSES HE WAS VERY PAINFUL FOR MY BUT ….ALREADY ADVANCED. . FINE
YA NO CONCERNS THAT TO ME I GAIN YY I AM THE LADY AND SHE WAS ONLY SWEEPINGS
THAT
WHAT CREI THAT WAS AN FRIEND REALLY
BUT GOD IS GREAT AND PODEROZO AND I BELIEVE IN JUSTICE
AND MY DECEO IS THAT IT UNDERGOES SO MUCH… OR MORE THAT HI DO TO MY
I. AND THAT DOES TO HER… THE SAME TO HIM… THAT SHE FIILING
. .PERDI CONFIDENCE TO MY HOSPEND
. .ER FOOL OF THE PEDESTAL WHERE I IT TAPEWORM. .
PERO THUS AM LIFE. .
DIOS I HELP TO HAVE FAITH AND NOT TO COMMIT ANY TRIVIALITY AND THAT STUBE ON THE VERGE OF DOING IT… BUT DO NOT DESERVE IT MY LIFE
IS IMPORTANT . AND ALIVE KNOWLEDGE THAT… S MY HAPPINESS. .PODER TO SEE GROW TO MY GRANDSONS IT IS MY ILICION THE LOVE… LOVE. .NO THAT TO SAY… MY HEART ROMPIO ..BROKENNNN….IN THOUSAND SMALL PIECES WENT AWAY… BUT LIFE GOO ON
.Y IF GOD PUT THAT FOOTPATH TO ME THAT CAMNO. .POR AHÍ WAY. .AUNQUE THIS PLENTY OF CLEARING AND THORNS I LOVE… I I CONCERN MYSELF. . OTHER… GOD DIRA !!
TO MY FRIENDLY BROTHERS OF THE CANCER
THAT UNITES. .SOMOS TO US FIGHTERS CHAMPIONS. .
LET WIN AND IF OF SOMETHING I CAN GIVE A RIGHT APPLICATION OF THERAPY
THIS IS THE ONE THAT I USE WITH ME
AND WAS THUS TO.. EAT MUCH NOT TO LET ITSELF DECAY BY THE SYMPTOMS OF STRONG MEDICINE. .
POWER TO US TO RETAIN ALL THE FOOD TO EAT
CANDIES
TO LISTEN TO MUSIC
NOW I DEDICATE MYSELF TO MAKE VIDEOS WHERE I UNLOAD MY EMOTIONS AND SHE MAKES ME FEEL WELL IN SPITE OF THE HELL THAT FILING LONG TIME IST GOING
I ONLY ASK TO THEM ALL SHE
THEY ARE NOT LET WIN DE CANCER OFF
THEY FIGHT BY ITS HEALTH UNTIL THE MAXIMUM.
AND THEY HAVE MUCH FAITH IN ITSELF.
MINE WAS IT WILL NOT LEAVE YOU TAKE DAMN CANCER TO ME
AND NOW I AM HERE COUNTING MY HISTORY WITHOUT HAPPY END. .
PERO ALIVE. .VIVAAA AND IT IS WHAT CONCERNS…
OTHERS GOD DIRA…
AMEN
I WANT THEM TO FRIENDLY TO ALL. FIGHT… CON TODO EL CORAZON..Y MUCHA FE
JUANA ORTIZ
way cool, but i have a question for you, did you let her know why you were “firing her”? or how did she learn the lesson to not repeat it again with someone else?
Hi there, I’ve fired friends myself, but later regretted it, because I started to find I was pretty lonely. All my life I’ve been an “all or nothing” sort of person, and that is how I treated people in my life. If they weren’t a part of most aspects of my life and weren’t there all the time, I didn’t want them around at all. As I’ve aged, I’ve learned that there are different kinds of relationships. Some people are in your life every day, for many reasons, and some are there once in awhile. Personally I don’t think there’s anything wrong with knowing someone you only talk to or see once in awhile. I am also not sure if I would feel like someone “wanted something” from me if all that they wanted was my company from time to time. I also think that the idea of disposal prevails in our culture at this time, as in “if I don’t like this thing/person/job/marriage, I can easily get right of it and get another,” instead of working on yourself to make the situation into something you do want or need. I just think that people are not clutter, and you can have different kinds of relationships with different people. That said, if you really didn’t like this person and didn’t enjoy your conversations or your time together at all, and if this person was asking for things like money etc., then firing them was the right thing to do.
It is the best manners to keep quiet in the face of disagreement according to the rules of etiquette, but I think that’s all bunk. Nice people get walked on a lot, and inevitably someday someone breaks a nice person, and that person goes off. All that pent up anger never before released explodes. It’s good for you that you knew to take a stand and say no more! I’ve been there and done that, and I can tell you it’s not always easy to let someone know they are a leech. There’s no nice way to say it. Don’t feel bad.
I hear what you’re saying. I had to fire a friend once too. It was hard to do at the time, but I have felt much lighter since then.
It took a lot of guts for you to let go. I had to let a friend go last year. It was hard, but I knew it was the right thing for me. The relationship was just not healthy. To this day she still doesn’t understand why I did it. She feels that she did nothing wrong. I miss her every so often and I still care for her, but I know in my heart that it was the right thing to do.
I understand totally. Unfortunately, I had to let my parents go. The way they live their lives isn’t good at all. I had always tried to live by the golden rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” So, despite my parents not caring. Skipping birthdays, Christmas, and even my college graduation, I still tried to see them whenever possible and help however I could. The only time I would hear from them was when they wanted something. So, someone that is wonderful in my life to me tells me this…obviously I’d like them to leave me alone since they can’t care, so my leaving them alone wouldn’t be breaking that rule. Though parents are important in a person’s life, mine brought me much heartache and pain. I finally decided to simply let it go. Nothing I can do will change the way their lives are going, so I need to concentrate on mine and the people that are actually “in” my life. Twas a hard decision to make, and perhaps the future will change that. Only time will tell, and I’ll do what’s right when and if the time comes. I’ll always honor my parents for giving me life, but I can’t condone how they live. We’ve always gotta follow our heart and live for God!
Wow! What you did took guts, and it seems you needed to do what you did for a reason. Perhaps she re-entered your life to remind you of that reason. You know what is right for you.
I was in a yoga class last week, and the teacher said something that touched me…”you must serve yourself, so you are able to serve others.” And she went on to explain that serving yourself meant being good to your body, surrounding yourself with people who are good to you, and thinking thoughts that are healthy.
Sometimes, I can’t get past the “guilt” to be able to fire a friend – even though it would probably be in my best interest.
WOW! It amazes me how much our lives parallel eachother! I realize there are a million other people in the world who probably are in the same bout right along with you and I, but they, unfortunately, don’t blog about it, or are on my myspace friends list, therefore, not allowing me to know things like this about them as well!
I deffinately feel you’ve done the right thing, I just did the same thing a week and a half ago, thoughunlike yours, it was not a long friendship, only about a year and a half old.
However, she was taking up my time, she has 4 kids, three of which have either gone to jail opr prison, and one that is a woman beater! I told her I can’t take her being in my life anymore, because I do not feel I should support someone who does not have a handle, nore care to handle, their children but then come over and tell me how I should raise mine. I have a three year old son, her oldest (the woman beater) is 19 with two kids one of them being on the way, second oldest just released from prison is now 18, and her youngest, her daughter, 13 just went to jail for breaking and entering!
Upon telling her that this was how I felt and that I was done, EVERYTHING became my fault, as well as other things that apparently had upset her in the past that she enver spoke to me about CLEARLY! But everything that she went on and on about, to include, that I ride a hi horse and tilt my nose at everyone I meet, not one part of her argument dealt with the situation at hand, her kids. So I knew for sure that we were done, and I was never to go back.
Just lastnight we went to a mutual friends party and I belive that the other gal who helped put it together purpously did not tell her I would be attending because she knew that she would not come otherwise. She would not talk to me even after I acknowledged her entrance in front of the whole crowd, so that really drove it home that I was done.
So, I see where you’re coming from on it all and understand completely. Like you I hope that she learns SOMETHING from this, if not just to realize that she never acknowledges her problems in life, and where she has gone wrong and try to solve them. I am no angel but I can tell you, when I learn a lesson once, I usually don’t have to learn it twice! If my son ever went to jail or prison, I’d be damned if the second in line followed in his steps!
I think what you did was absolutely the right thing! Congrats and be proud of yourself, because if you’re not, no one else will be! (Except maybe your husband tehehe)
I have been on both sides of your situation. I have been a “fired” friend and Ive thought about firing a couple also. Yes I agree that people come in and out of our lives for a reason but a “true” friend never turns their back on another. Yes you may reach a point where enough is enough but how do you know that God may have you in that persons life for a reason. I believe firmly that everything happens for a reason and I have had one of my closest friends back off from me when I was at my worst. Luckily it took losing that friendship to make me change my ways and make my life better and to this day we still remain friends. Sometimes you may not have to fire them you just got to let them find out on their own that they are their own keeper and responsible for the choices in their lives. Who knows the situation. But if thats what works for you and you feel in your heart you did the right thing then so be it.
Good for you lady!
Thank you so much for your comments. I really appreciate them. I also had to let you know that I just can’t stop laughing at that portion that says “it’s not always easy to let someone know they are a leech”. You made my day!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to send along your comments. You are absolutely right about not making our friends into some sort of disposable commodities. In this particular situation, this person would only contact me or other friends of hers when she needed something. When her car was in the garage, she would call to get together for lunch and ask you to run her to the grocery store, etc. When she didn’t have money, she would always come up with some story about not having food for her cats or being out of groceries but was always able to get her nails done. She was like that with lots of other people as well. But, when any of us would contact her to get together, she would not give anyone so much as the courtesy of a call back, one way or another. I truly feel sorry for her. In reality, she was the one who was always disposing of others when she found someone new that she felt could do something for her.
Yes, I did let her know. She was being very persistent about my not wanting to get together and wanting to know why so I did tell her that the only time that I heard from her was when she wanted something. She followed that by asking whether our friendship didn’t mean something and I told her that at one time it did but no longer. I told her that I truly wished her nothing but the best, which is absolutely true, but that I had nothing further to say to her and that I was now going to hang up the phone which I did. It was actually liberating as I really had gotten tired of the bad behavior and I now knew that I would not have to deal with it anymore. There are tons of wonderful people out there and I would much rather spend my time with them.
I am so glad that you enjoy the blogs. I can’t stop laughing about your saying that you had a friend who would just drain the hell out of you. I totally understand what that is like. You made my day with that one.
You know, I never thought about it in that way. But since my diagnosis, I too have found out who my real friends are and who and what are my priorities.
I couldn’t have said it better myself. You obviously have great insight into yourself and that is so important. Thank you so much for sharing.