Domestic Violence – After I Left
I will never forget the day that I left. The feeling of freedom was indescribable. I felt that I had been given a new life and I had every intention of doing the best with it that I possibly could. Although there were the immediate matters with which to deal, I knew that I had to handle them quickly and put them behind me if I was ever going to be able to start over.
I got a divorce and ultimately left the state. My ex had no idea where I was and I was pretty sure that he did not have the resources to find me. I spent all of my time and effort securing a new job, new friends and a new life. Whenever something from the past intruded, I made every effort to put it aside as quickly as possible. I had spent enough time living the nightmare and I did not plan to keep re-living it for the rest of my life.
Although my experience was really bad, I have chosen to learn from it and never held on to any hate and/or anger. I understand that my ex was an extremely troubled person who felt that it was okay to take his anger and insecurities out on me. I had to reach the point where I realized that there was nothing that I could do to change the situation and that there was nothing that I was doing to cause his behavior. I needed to leave in order to survive and that was it. I did learn that he died a few years ago, all alone, on Christmas Day.
The bigger lesson that I needed to learn was that I could learn from the past but not live in the past. I could not change what had happened during those years but I could allow the lessons of that time to shape a kinder, gentler me. I had the ability to structure a whole new life in which I could treat people with all of the kindness and love and understanding that I had not received in my marriage. I also learned that all that I have is today and that when I go to bed at night, I wanted to be proud of the day that I had created. The lessons that I have learned have become the basis for the lyrics for the music CD that my husband and I have created. Not surprisingly, it is titled “Let Life Happen” and was the pre-cursor to my blog and the website. Please feel free to share the music on this website and you will have a better understanding of the lessons that I have learned from that abusive time.
If you or anyone you know might need help, Check out the National Domestic Violence Hotline website.
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